IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT

Zesty food memories from a James Beard Award–winning blogger.

DeRuiter assembles essays into a funny, irreverent memoir about family, food, cooking, and eating, as well as life in the kitchen and around assorted tables. She recalls her first memory of food (“mint toothpaste, served straight from the tube”), her discovery of New York bagels, and her shameless love of Red Lobster, which began when she was growing up in Florida. Red Lobster “had people who were kind to me, and cheesy biscuits that were served warm, in a little basket. It taught me that life had more to offer.” Women portrayed on TV shows, though, would likely refuse those warm biscuits: Either they wouldn’t eat at all, or when they ate, they’d be chided for being super picky. It was “a hard thing to learn,” DeRuiter admits, “that we can ask things of other people, that we can order food how we want it. That our bodies deserve to be nourished and loved and fed the way we want them to be.” Equally hard was letting her husband cook for her, to “fight against the feelings of guilt and obligation and see it for what it is: someone who loves me, making a meal for our family.” Several essays focus on sexism and misogyny in the food industry and on social media. Chef Mario Batali’s tone-deaf apology about sexual misconduct, for example, inspired her to write an essay that was met with derisive comments, as was a piece she wrote about the worst meal of her life, a 27-course tasting menu at a Michelin-starred restaurant in Italy. Food and recipes, she’s discovered, attract virulent responses, and even death threats. DeRuiter brings her sharp wit to a range of subjects, including family, marriage, the end of a treasured friendship, and the meaning of comfort food.

A deft, entertaining collection.