NICKED

A cloistered monk and a relic hunter must work together to steal St. Nicholas’ bones in this enthralling work of historical fiction based on true events.

In the midst of a 1087 pox outbreak in Bari, Italy, the terminally honest Brother Nicephorus dreams of St. Nicholas. While Nicephorus interprets the vision as an exhortation to leave the abbey and minister to the sick, his abbott and other town leaders see it as a saintly cry for help: Nicholas is clearly unhappy with his current resting place in Myra and wishes for his mystically healing bones to be brought to Bari. After a speedy vetting process, the sly Tartar Tyun is hired to relocate the holy corpse, with Nicephorus supervising to make sure the treasure hunter holds up his end of the bargain. On a ship teeming with odd and imposing crew members from across Europe and Asia, the unlikely pair sets out to burgle St. Nicholas Church. Mishaps and acts of derring-do, interspersed with tales of St. Nicholas’ miracles, ensue. In a novel this funny, it would be all too easy to let an omniscient, present-day narrator earn laughs at the expense of its characters’ outdated beliefs, but Anderson instead approaches the medieval with curiosity and compassion. Here is a world where spiritual scammers might live alongside genuine dog-men and where devotion to the body—living or dead—can be serious, sensual, and irreverent. This, plus rich prose (“the company of relic thieves appeared like this to him, scattered, tenuous; for the victory feast of one creature, he knew well, was always the corpse of another”) and a queer slowest-of-slow burns, should shoot this to the top of a heist lover’s to-read list.

An always entertaining and unexpectedly poignant adventure as rare and gleaming as a reliquary.