A man with the nom de plume Mr. Perpetual Survivor recounts his abusive marriage to a narcissist in this debut memoir.

The author met Blake on a gay dating app: Blake was a 25-year-old Army vet with musical aspirations, and Perpetual Survivor was a 25-year-old computer programmer with a blackbelt in the Korean martial art Tang Soo Do. The two hit it off despite the differences in their personalities—the author was adventurous yet easy-going, more interested in exploring than settling down; Blake, on the other hand, was assertive, with strong opinions and more traditional ideas about relationships. “I got a high-level description of his life that sounded true,” recalls PS of their first day together. “He was constantly being victimized by other people and was very good at making you pity him; it was clear he was a lost soul who needed a leg up.” Blake’s stories of his time in Iraq and Afghanistan, and of his alcoholic father, particularly stoked the author’s sympathies. Very quickly, however, Blake revealed himself to be a manipulative schemer. Only a few days after meeting each other, Blake hit PS up for money, threatening to key his car if he didn’t give it to him. The author paid him in the hopes that Blake would leave. Instead, Blake moved into his apartment. Attempts to end the relationship and get Blake out of his life proved entirely ineffective. “You committed to me for life,” Blake told the confused PS, still only days into their relationship. “You promised to take care of me forever, breaking a vow like that can get you killed.” Despite the constant manipulation and financial drain, the author continued to be with Blake, going so far as to move to a new city with him, buy a house with him, and eventually, marry him. By the time PS was to learn whether or not “breaking a vow” really could get him killed, it was almost too late.

There are plenty of stories about toxic relationships with manipulative abusers, but Blake surely sits highly in the ranks of memoir monsters. In addition to Blake’s more violent tendencies, he forced PS to buy him a $4,500 pipe organ and even played a role in the author’s parents’ divorce. His ultimate fate, revealed at the end of the book, is truly wild—if it is to be believed. Perpetual Survivor is not an entirely credible narrator—early in the book, he tells a story about getting injured on a hike and rescued by a female bear who helped drag him back to town (he admits there is “a slight chance it was a fantasy”). He also tells a story about escaping a 100-person lynch mob in Georgia by relying on his skills as a martial artist. Oddly, these tall tales do not really detract from his narrative, which, after all, is about the experience of being made to feel that you’ve lost control of your own story. This is a dark work of autobiography, but it is also sensational, insightful, and gruesomely funny.

A madcap survivor’s memoir about a monstrous romantic relationship.