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THE MAN I NEVER MET

A MEMOIR

An unexpectedly moving memoir.

The noted NFL insider recounts how he built a family with a 9/11 widow.

Schefter (editor: The Class of Football: Words of Hard-Earned Wisdom from Legends of the Gridiron, 2009, etc.) met his future wife, Sharri Maio, just as he was starting to heal from a period of illness that had left him questioning his life path. Driven and successful, the once-divorced, 39-year-old author had been desperately seeking—and not finding—“the perfect relationship.” His life changed forever when he decided to take a chance on a 9/11 widow and her young son. Their connection was immediate and profound—and complex. The first and most challenging complication was Sharri’s dead husband, Joe, a man beloved and admired by all who knew him. On their first date, Schefter learned that Joe was still an abiding presence in Sharri’s life and that he and Joe shared the same birthday. The second complication was Sharri’s son: “She needed somebody who had chemistry with her and Devon.” For the first time, Schefter was forced to consider the realities of a relationship and learn to accommodate a partner who “felt permanently tethered to [death].” Tentatively, the author made his way through this “new territory.” On the first 9/11 anniversary they experienced together and for every 9/11 afterward, he sent her flowers. Schefter also became close to Joe’s parents, who were still very much a part of Sharri’s life. Despite a series of personal problems, including a difficult pregnancy, that beset the pair after they married, they grew beyond their differences and bonded through illness and other family tragedies, including the suicide of Joe’s brother. Schefter’s book is affecting not only for the story it tells of how the author learned to honor his wife’s husband as “the fifth member of [his] family,” but also for how it shows a man growing into a mature understanding of the true meaning of love and sacrifice.

An unexpectedly moving memoir.

Pub Date: Sept. 4, 2018

ISBN: 978-1-250-16189-5

Page Count: 208

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: June 17, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2018

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NIGHT

The author's youthfulness helps to assure the inevitable comparison with the Anne Frank diary although over and above the...

Elie Wiesel spent his early years in a small Transylvanian town as one of four children. 

He was the only one of the family to survive what Francois Maurois, in his introduction, calls the "human holocaust" of the persecution of the Jews, which began with the restrictions, the singularization of the yellow star, the enclosure within the ghetto, and went on to the mass deportations to the ovens of Auschwitz and Buchenwald. There are unforgettable and horrifying scenes here in this spare and sombre memoir of this experience of the hanging of a child, of his first farewell with his father who leaves him an inheritance of a knife and a spoon, and of his last goodbye at Buchenwald his father's corpse is already cold let alone the long months of survival under unconscionable conditions. 

The author's youthfulness helps to assure the inevitable comparison with the Anne Frank diary although over and above the sphere of suffering shared, and in this case extended to the death march itself, there is no spiritual or emotional legacy here to offset any reader reluctance.

Pub Date: Jan. 16, 2006

ISBN: 0374500010

Page Count: 120

Publisher: Hill & Wang

Review Posted Online: Oct. 7, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2006

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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