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THE SUICIDE CLUB

WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE CHOOSES DEATH

Compassionate, practical, and sensible advice for grieving spouses.

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Wyman offers an account of a shocking topic and offers advice to those in similar situations.

In 2020, the author writes, she had a minor argument with her husband, Shawn, about the amount of time he was spending with friends; afterward, he drove from their Colorado home into the mountains, where he shot himself. In texts and social-media postings, he had asked for forgiveness and emphasized his love for the author and others. In the aftermath of the tragedy, the author experienced a painful funeral and veteran’s ceremony (Shawn had formerly been in the U.S. Navy) under burdensome Covid-19 pandemic restrictions, and a breakdown in relations with Shawn’s family. Alexandra also had to adjust to raising her toddler son as a single mother. Over the course of her narrative, she offers numerous asides to inform and comfort readers in similar straits, providing advice and hard lessons learned. She counsels those whose loved ones have committed suicide to “Ride the crazy waves until [the healing process] comes” and recommends taking time for themselves, including guilt-free self-care (yoga was a benefit for her, she says), therapy, focusing on positives, and not falling into the trap of believing one will never move forward. This is a brief, conversational work with short chapters that are sometimes only a few paragraphs in length. She draws on the work of a few other authors, including Nora McInerny and Debbie Ford, to offer further expertise on grief. Most of Wyman’s own material is anecdotal, backed up by commonsense recommendations. An appendix featuring practical financial advice and tips for getting one’s household affairs in order is both helpful and poignant.

Compassionate, practical, and sensible advice for grieving spouses.

Pub Date: Nov. 21, 2022

ISBN: 9781544533797

Page Count: 160

Publisher: Houndstooth Press

Review Posted Online: Jan. 23, 2023

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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ONE DAY, EVERYONE WILL HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AGAINST THIS

A philosophically rich critique of state violence and mass apathy.

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An Egyptian Canadian journalist writes searchingly of this time of war.

“Rules, conventions, morals, reality itself: all exist so long as their existence is convenient to the preservation of power.” So writes El Akkad, who goes on to state that one of the demands of modern power is that those subject to it must imagine that some group of people somewhere are not fully human. El Akkad’s pointed example is Gaza, the current destruction of which, he writes, is causing millions of people around the world to examine the supposedly rules-governed, democratic West and declare, “I want nothing to do with this.” El Akkad, author of the novel American War (2017), discerns hypocrisy and racism in the West’s defense of Ukraine and what he views as indifference toward the Palestinian people. No stranger to war zones himself—El Akkad was a correspondent in Afghanistan and Iraq—he writes with grim matter-of-factness about murdered children, famine, and the deliberate targeting of civilians. With no love for Zionism lost, he offers an equally harsh critique of Hamas, yet another one of the “entities obsessed with violence as an ethos, brutal in their treatment of minority groups who in their view should not exist, and self-­decreed to be the true protectors of an entire religion.” Taking a global view, El Akkad, who lives in the U.S., finds almost every government and society wanting, and not least those, he says, that turn away and pretend not to know, behavior that we’ve seen before and that, in the spirit of his title, will one day be explained away until, in the end, it comes down to “a quiet unheard reckoning in the winter of life between the one who said nothing, did nothing, and their own soul.”

A philosophically rich critique of state violence and mass apathy.

Pub Date: Feb. 25, 2025

ISBN: 9780593804148

Page Count: 224

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: Dec. 14, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2025

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