TO THOSE WHO HAVE CONFUSED YOU TO BE A PERSON

A journalist explores the causes and effects of online harassment of women.

In 2022 Dastagir wrote a story for USA Today about a man’s childhood experience of sexual assault. She paired the article with “a short companion piece on the science of pedophilia” in an attempt to “better understand violence.” As soon as the piece was published, the author was harassed by hateful trolls. The experience both destroyed her emotionally and inspired her to write this book, which examines what online violence looks like and how it affects mostly female victims. Dastagir profiles a series of women who have experienced harassment, including Representative Leigh Finke, a transgender politician from Minnesota; journalist Taylor Lorenz; and activist Nadya Okamoto. Dastagir uses these cases to illustrate larger trends around the effects of harassment, including physical dysregulation, silencing, and exhaustion. She also ties them to larger feminist struggles, such as the fight to eliminate menstruation taboos, the struggle for abortion rights, and the need to educate white feminists about solidarity. Finally, Dastagir provides ways for women to cope with harassment, including finding a sense of purpose, using humor to deflect pain, and building community and solidarity. She envisions a future in which “our digital spaces were sites of mutual responsibility, scenes of gratitude and reciprocity, rather than ones of dominance and competition.” This is a deeply researched and clearly argued book, and Dastagir’s empathy and forays into her personal life make it particularly effective.

A brilliant analysis of gender-based violence on- and offline.