THE FIFTH CHAMBER

Gudger reflects on the devastating loss of her husband and her tumultuous journey toward healing in this memoir.

The author was six months pregnant when her husband, Kent, died in a tragic accident. Descending into a frenzy of grief, she was forced to find a way forward to be there for her unborn son, Jake. Chapters alternate between “Before” (in which Gudger reminisces about her romance and marriage to Kent) and “After” (in which she struggles to cope with unexpected single motherhood). Her healing process included attending a grief support group, whose members took turns telling their “Dead Husband Stories,” and meeting Scot, a man whom Gudger couldn’t stop comparing to Kent—but who eventually became her second husband and the father of her daughter, Maria. The author also makes space to reflect on her troubled relationships with her own parents, whom she refers to at one point as “Vodka Dad and Depressed Mom.” The memoir ends on a note of grateful optimism as Gudger considers her blended family—one in which both Kent’s and Scot’s extended families help form a beloved “family soup.” The author continuously punctuates her heartbreaking story with a poetic beauty that aims to engulf readers in pure emotion, such as her description of Jake’s momentous birth: “A tiny seed, a spore of goodness, micro as an orchid seed—the smallest seed in the flower world—burrowed into my heart muscle, carved a pocket where atria and ventricles meet. This fifth chamber tendrilled roots, rooted a pinprick of hope in my heart that I thought was broken.” Gudger’s conflicting emotions—love and grief, anger and sadness, hope and despair—will prove highly familiar to anyone who has ever lost a loved one, while the lyrical prose expertly and candidly speaks to the grief of loss and the hope that comes after.

An emotionally riveting memoir, raw and inspiring.