A compassionate, practical, and useful series of approaches for dealing with pet loss.
A debut guide focuses on healing after the loss of a beloved pet.
Despite the fact that tens of millions of Americans own at least one pet, the reaction of a great many people to the loss of a furry friend is one of dismissal: “It was only a dog” or “Just get another one.” In her book, Farage-Smith expresses gentle frustration with such condescension. “Our society needs to recognize and honor this type of loss,” she writes, “because it can be so devastating and it affects so many people.” The author—an educator, mental health counselor, and founder of the Rochester Center for Pet Grief and Loss—describes the myriad faces of this kind of loss and outlines strategies and mindsets that may help readers get through it. She goes over the long history of the human-pet bond, recounting the many documented physical and psychological benefits of the relationship. Then she moves to the bulk of her book and its strongest sections, in which she dissects different kinds of grief. They range from the “anticipatory” kind that can arise when people are caring for an older or terminally ill pet to the “ambiguous” or “disenfranchised” type, when, for instance, an owner is forced to part ways with an animal companion and must experience grief without death. The classic stages of that grief are likewise examined, and throughout the guide, Farage-Smith deftly employs the warm, compassionate prose tone that readers enduring this type of loss will most appreciate. Among other things, she strongly advocates journaling to work out the intense feelings involved, but she always positions herself as the audience’s biggest champion. “The process of forgiving yourself can begin by accepting what happened, learning and growing from the experience, and allowing yourself to move forward,” she writes. “Forgiveness is a choice.” Readers who have experienced the trauma of pet loss will deeply appreciate the valuable wisdom in these pages.
A compassionate, practical, and useful series of approaches for dealing with pet loss.Pub Date: June 4, 2024
ISBN: 9781647426767
Page Count: 224
Publisher: She Writes Press
Review Posted Online: March 20, 2024
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2024
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.
The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.
Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023
ISBN: 9781627783316
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Viva Editions
Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
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