ANTI-HERO'S JOURNEY

Askins’ slim volume of musings—part memoir, part work of philosophy—dismantles the idea of the “self” even as it encourages readers to live more fully and fearlessly.

Turning Joseph Campbell’s famous “hero’s journey” arc (departure, initiation, return) on its head, the author invites readers to embark on his “Anti-Hero’s Journey,” in which he sets out to prove that all of humanity is, literally, nothing. The “Zeromyth” is an adults-only take on a fairy-tale idea of “self”: “Children die on this journey. All of them. By definition. There are no survivors, but you knew that already. Actually, the Zero doesn’t have any faces and about a thousand of them are yours right now. There is no call, no separation, no initiation, no return.” Askins tackles a range of topics, from the mathematical argument over zero’s status as a natural number and the three fundamental laws of logic to therapy using psychedelic drugs and humanity’s greatest fear. It’s this last point that really provides the basis for the viewpoint articulated here: The author argues that everyone’s greatest fear isn’t actually death, but the belief that they are nothing: “I am no one. Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Zip. Without. Nought. Naught. Empty. Worthless. Not a hero. Not a sidekick. Not a villain. Not a victim. Not a bystander. Not even the background. Not even the ground behind and beneath the background. Nothing.” Askins then sets out to prove that we are, indeed, nothing—but notes that “once you realize you’re nothing, then you can do anything.” This Buddhist-adjacent philosophy informs his sometimes disjointed discussions of his wife and kids, his time in the military, and his overview of life in general.

Anyone familiar with the idea of “no-self” in Buddhism will likely see some parallels between it and Askins’ philosophy, but for the uninitiated the book may prove rather bleak at first read. The author’s actual journey toward “zero” is told with plenty of sarcasm and self-deprecating wit (“I have a Master of Divinity degree. God, what a cocky title. Who comes up with this shit?”). Askins pivots between subjects seemingly at random, bouncing from his role in providing MDMA-assisted psychotherapy to imprecatory prayers without hesitation, giving readers the off-kilter feeling one might have while engaging in increasingly deranged late-night discussions over drinks. While the author can certainly be entertaining and insightful, there are occasional typos that distract. A short story by Andy Weir is republished in full, which provides the basis for some more discussion from Askins—but it fills precious space in what is already a very brief book. The text includes the questionable comment that “some might say rape is their greatest fear, death being preferable to dishonor.” The inclusion of this out-of-date idiom is unfortunate, as contemporary readers will likely take issue with the idea that being raped somehow causes the victim “dishonor.” Still, Askins gives his readers a lot to think about in a small, sometimes unnerving package. Readers who enjoy thought exercises and existentialist philosophy will likely find much to ponder here.

A somewhat uneven collection of rambling insights both amusing and thought-provoking.