JESSICA’S GUIDE TO DATING ON THE DARK SIDE

Populated with thoroughly flat characters, this vampire romance makes Twilight look like a feminist handbook. Mathlete Jess doesn’t like the creepy new student who calls her by her pre-adoptive name, Antanasia. Velvet-clad Lucien insists that he’s a vampire prince, she’s a vampire princess and they’ve been betrothed since birth. Jess’s vegan anthropologist parents not only agree with Lucien, but invite him to move in. Though resistant at first, Jess becomes more reconciled to being nobility, especially as Lucien shows interest in local girls and starts avoiding Jess. She’ll need Lucien to become a vampire, however; a female vampire can’t come into her powers until she is bitten by a male vampire at puberty (the reverse, maddeningly enough, is not true). The more she thinks about vampirism, the less analytical Jess becomes, incredibly losing both the desire and the capacity to do math, skipping calculus and walking out of a Mathlete competition she’s been training for years to win. It’s okay, though, because she’s wicked cute in her vampire mother’s dress! For vampire-romance completists only, despite charming moments. (Fantasy. 12-14)