TURN THIS CONVERSATION AROUND

A guide focuses on managing productive conversations in challenging circumstances.

This self-help book encourages readers to approach potentially fraught conversations with a clear understanding of goals, emotions, and boundaries in order to set realistic expectations and achieve the best possible results. Wonson explains her trademarked “Navigating Challenging Dialogue” process, which, she asserts, allows her to be “a steward of healthy conflict.” After describing her background in communication, relating how she learned to combat unhelpful emotional responses, and incorporating a smidge of neurobiology, the author lays out a four-step process for readers. With numerous examples drawn from her consulting clients, Wonson explains how to avoid emotional triggers, adjust assumptions, listen to the other party's responses, and maintain an open curiosity in order to reach an acceptable resolution. The author reminds readers that conversations can succeed when they accept that they only have control over their own emotions and reactions, not those of anyone else in the exchange, and adjust their expectations accordingly. The book’s discussion of how to respond to tears is particularly intriguing, offering strategies for reacting appropriately to strong emotions without making assumptions about how the other party is feeling. For instance, Wonson suggests saying “I see tears. Can you tell me what they mean?” before drawing conclusions about why a conversation has led to crying. The manual also does a good job of providing scripts that readers can employ when they need to pause a conversation in order to regain control of their own emotions. The volume’s many anecdotes are well chosen and serve to illustrate the more abstract concepts in Wonson’s framework, making it easy for readers to adapt it to their own needs. While the fundamentals of the process will be familiar to those who have read other works on healthy communication, the author’s clear explanations of how she came to understand and apply the common concepts make for an effective introduction. She builds a solid case throughout the text for the value of following the steps she enumerates.

A thoughtful and well-written explanation of how to communicate.