A clear and essential guide to helping loved ones when they hit rock bottom.
Licuanan offers a comprehensive guide to providing help to people who don’t necessarily welcome it.
In his nonfiction debut, the author, a psychologist and educator, discusses the vital importance of what he calls an “impact person” in substance abuse recovery—the term refers to involved individuals “with the ability to help, assist, or change someone’s life for the better.” Licuanan clarifies that there are limits to what such people can do; the author stresses the importance of drawing a clear “We are done” line in the sand, setting a boundary past which “you are simply finished supporting their unhealthy lifestyle.” Licuanan’s overview encompasses both mental health disorders (including schizophrenia and PTSD) and substance abuse disorders (involving alcohol, methamphetamine, and other drugs) and draws on his experience dealing with such clients and the people in their lives. Rather than providing specific intervention techniques for any of these situations, he offers a more general set of tools, including active listening, empathy, and the setting of healthy boundaries, all designed to help families and other "impact people" in what the author refers to as “the Pre-treatment Zone,” in which people are desperate to get their loved ones into some kind of treatment. (“The support system in the Pre-treatment Zone is experiencing intense fear, anxiety, loss, confusion, and desperation. They may believe their loved one is no longer able to care for their basic needs adequately and might be in danger of harming self or others.”) Licuanan breaks down all of his advice very clearly into a great many practical necessities, with key tasks in the process delegated to the “captain” and the “co-captain” of the assistance team, along with the whole coalition of assisting individuals. (These tasks can involve preparing backup plans and contingencies in case law enforcement has to be involved.) People in these helping coalitions will find Licuanan’s combination of optimism and pragmatism invaluable; this book is full of very useful wisdom.
A clear and essential guide to helping loved ones when they hit rock bottom.Pub Date: May 1, 2024
ISBN: 9798987830987
Page Count: 274
Publisher: BL Press and Publications
Review Posted Online: May 3, 2024
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2024
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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