LOVE, RITA

Reflecting on the deep bond with a beloved elder sister.

Davis grew up sensing that her role as the youngest child of five was to always let Rita, the sister closest to her in age, “shine.” But deference did not spare the two from fights that stemmed from sibling rivalry and persisted into young adulthood. When their drug-addicted elder sister Deborah died, their relationship suddenly changed: Davis writes, “We stopped bickering…[and] refused to take each other for granted.” As the pair moved in and out of schools, jobs, and relationships, they watched with mounting shock and horror as chronic disease, homicide, and domestic violence claimed each member of their family over the next two decades. Rita’s own periodic struggles with lupus took her away from corporate life in the South to a teaching job in Detroit. Meanwhile, Davis’ life in New York as a filmmaker, writer, and professor flourished. Their different life trajectories caused occasional friction between them, especially as Rita’s condition worsened. Her tragic death at 44 marked the emergence of Davis’ own awareness—which she demonstrates throughout this memoir—about ways in which white supremacy had worked against her loved ones’ survival. The author’s loved ones hadn’t simply suffered individual misfortunes; they had been “weathered” into early deaths by a society hostile to black existence. Poignant and intense, this book not only explores the complexity of sister bonds but also brings to the fore how living in a racist society can destroy the health and well-being of non-white individuals and families.

A powerful tribute to sisterhood and the complex fragility of Black lives.