SECONDS AND INCHES

A divorce coach and HuffPost contributor recounts how she found the courage to love an imperfect life filled with episodes of addiction, heartbreak, and trauma.

Born with a last name that means “one who wrestles with God” and descended from individuals who barely survived the Holocaust, Israel seemed destined to endure more than her share of personal difficulties. As a child, she writes, “our mom was passed out drunk and high on the couch most days after work…[and] our dad drank all night after he got home.” If all seemed well, it was because the author’s mother and father were determined to “keep the outside looking good,” a lesson they passed on to their daughter. During adolescence, Israel was dealing with a “raging eating disorder” as well as substance abuse problems and bad relationships with emotionally disordered men. She attempted suicide in college and spent two years recovering and building a strong relationship with God. At age 24, Israel married a man who was her admitted opposite but who also offered her the first “real partnership” she ever had. Everything appeared “perfect.” However, by the time Israel had her third son, Levi, she and her husband were leading “separate lives.” Levi soon developed a rare neurovascular condition that at first mystified doctors. In the years that followed, his many health crises strained an already problematic marriage, revealing the emotional chasm that had developed between Israel and her husband; they later divorced. Without a doubt, Israel’s account is heartfelt and authentic. However, because the author attempts to achieve so much all at once—telling the story of her life and the lives of her Holocaust forbears without a narrowing of thematic focus; thanking every individual who taught her lessons or changed her life in end-of-chapter “letters”—the pacing sometimes suffers, as does the structural interconnectedness of the book.

A candid, sometimes moving, but flawed memoir.