A thoughtful, enlightening guide that joins a host of others addressing persistent racism.
A cogent explanation of why respect and acceptance should ground conversations about race.
Headlee joins authors such as Ijeoma Oluo (So You Want To Talk About Race) and Robert Livingston (The Conversation) in offering practical suggestions for thinking about, and talking about, racism. Headlee’s mixed-race heritage—she identifies as a “light-skinned Black Jew”—and “non-race-specific features” have allowed her “to see the racial underpinnings of our society in a way that most can’t, or don’t.” Defining a racist as “someone who makes assumptions about another person (either positive or negative) because of their perceived race or ethnicity,” an attitude not limited to White supremacists, Headlee provides questions and exercises for self-evaluation. Drawing on research from neuroscience, psychology, political science, and sociology, as well as ideas from Buddhist thought and philosophy, the author offers a road map for crafting productive conversations that, she contends, “have the power to change hearts. Among her suggestions are engaging with others through curiosity, fostering empathy, and listening actively. She advocates “using a series of questions intended to increase your understanding” of someone else’s views while also encouraging them “to think through their ideas on a deeper level than they may have before.” Even when disagreeing on important issues, it’s possible to develop a meaningful relationship with someone “simply by spending time with them.” Commonalities, Headlee asserts, “help to build bridges of empathy.” Regarding conversational strategies, she advises that we take turns talking: “Before anyone states their own opinion, they should restate what they heard from the other person, making sure they’ve articulated their ideas accurately.” The author focuses most on private interchanges. In the workplace, businesses trying to promote diversity often employ unproductive methods that do not lead to a change in culture. True inclusivity requires “specific policies,” and it’s vital to realize that “silence is complicity.”
A thoughtful, enlightening guide that joins a host of others addressing persistent racism.Pub Date: Nov. 2, 2021
ISBN: 978-0-06-309815-2
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Harper Wave
Review Posted Online: Aug. 24, 2021
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2021
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.
Memories and life lessons inspired by the author’s mother, who was murdered in 2021.
“Neither my mother nor I knew that her last text to me would be the words ‘Think you’ll be happy,’ ” Avant writes, "but it is fitting that she left me with a mantra for resiliency.” The author, a filmmaker and former U.S. Ambassador to the Bahamas, begins her first book on the night she learned her mother, Jacqueline Avant, had been fatally shot during a home invasion. “One of my first thoughts,” she writes, “was, ‘Oh God, please don’t let me hate this man. Give me the strength not to hate him.’ ” Daughter of Clarence Avant, known as the “Black Godfather” due to his work as a pioneering music executive, the author describes growing up “in a house that had a revolving door of famous people,” from Ella Fitzgerald to Muhammad Ali. “I don’t take for granted anything I have achieved in my life as a Black American woman,” writes Avant. “And I recognize my unique upbringing…..I was taught to honor our past and pay forward our fruits.” The book, which is occasionally repetitive, includes tributes to her mother from figures like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton, but the narrative core is the author’s direct, faith-based, unwaveringly positive messages to readers—e.g., “I don’t want to carry the sadness and anger I have toward the man who did this to my mother…so I’m worshiping God amid the worst storm imaginable”; "Success and feeling good are contagious. I’m all about positive contagious vibrations!” Avant frequently quotes Bible verses, and the bulk of the text reflects the spirit of her daily prayer “that everything is in divine order.” Imploring readers to practice proactive behavior, she writes, “We have to always find the blessing, to be the blessing.”
Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.Pub Date: Oct. 17, 2023
ISBN: 9780063304413
Page Count: 288
Publisher: HarperOne
Review Posted Online: Aug. 17, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2023
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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