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LEARNING TO LOVE MIDLIFE

12 REASONS WHY LIFE GETS BETTER WITH AGE

Conley’s enthusiasm for grasping the full potential of the midlife years is contagious and inspiring.

Life after 40 is “a rich time for introspection, a journey through stillness into freedom,” according to this engaging, conversational guide.

In a youth-oriented culture like the U.S., the midlife period is often seen as “one endless sand trap on the golf course of life.” But it doesn’t have to be like that, writes Conley, co-founder of the Modern Elder Academy and author of numerous business and self-help books. Midlife, which he defines as the 40-65 age bracket, can be a time when life is reconsidered and reorganized. The key is to make a conscious decision about what sort of future you want, including what the author calls “the Great Midlife Edit.” This means letting go of mindsets and obligations that have outstayed their welcome. For some people, it can be a change of career or lifestyle, perhaps stepping off the 9-to-5 treadmill and finding a new use for hard-won experience; Conley cites statistics indicating that half of American start-up entrepreneurs are over 55. True, after 40, wrinkles start to appear and hairlines begin to recede. Accept it and become comfortable in your skin, advises Conley, although he also offers advice on maintaining overall health. Staying active is the best medicine. The connection between mental condition and physical capability increases in midlife, and people with strong relationships, religious faith, and a willingness to try new things live longer, healthier lives. Don’t be afraid to seek new challenges and experiences; the author notes that his father took up scuba diving at 60. “Midlife is the time to rediscover our love of old movies, jazz music, impressionist painters, and anything else that makes life worth living,” he writes. Later, he continues, “Aging is a privilege, a gift of time.”

Conley’s enthusiasm for grasping the full potential of the midlife years is contagious and inspiring.

Pub Date: Jan. 16, 2024

ISBN: 9780316567022

Page Count: 240

Publisher: Little, Brown Spark

Review Posted Online: Sept. 23, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2023

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I'M GLAD MY MOM DIED

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

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The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.

In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022

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CALL ME ANNE

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.

Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9781627783316

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Viva Editions

Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023

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