YOU DON'T SEE ME

A trans boy in Dublin struggles with hiding his true self.

Seventeen-year-old Ros, who presents white, tries to remain unnoticed in a school that’s divided into cliques—the stereotypically girly Flock, the studious nerds, class bully and rugby star Tadhg and his followers, and the lone goth. Ros couldn’t feel more out of place as a closeted trans guy. When his best friend, Sarah, convinces him to attend a party hosted by Tadhg, he’s not expecting Eddy, Tadhg’s older sister, to be so charming. Ros spends the night holed away with Eddy, developing a major crush, but the brilliant night sours in the light of day, as Tadhg and the Flock, convinced that Ros is a lesbian, become determined to ruin his life. Ros now faces a battle on two fronts: plagued both by the homophobia of his peers and the sinking feeling that, by remaining closeted, he’s lying to Eddy about who he is. The story’s development is undermined by stilted dialogue and outdated representation: Even though the novel is set in the present day, the framing of gender-related concepts feels out of step with information that modern teens will have access to (for example, Ros’ online research consists of searches for transsexualism and transgenderism). Readers may find that the self-harm scenes (Ros began cutting himself when he hit puberty) and an aborted suicide attempt veer alarmingly close to trauma porn.

A well-intentioned novel that falls short in its handling of sensitive topics.