SO YOU WANT TO BE AN OLIGARCH

Jackson presents a satirical guidebook for prospective oligarchs on how to exploit politicians, capitalism, and the American public.

“Money is how we, as a species, determine our worth,” the author writes in the opening pages of this manual for the aspiring oligarch. “We are not measured by the strength of our character, our integrity, or our altruism.” The author blends humorous insights on 21st-century capitalism with a tongue-in-cheek history of economic exploitation from Crassus of Rome (who created his own private army) to Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and SpaceX founder Elon Musk, whose interests in space exploration, the author asserts, stem from their desire to “escape the hellscape they created.” Another oligarch, Mali’s Mansa Musa, gave so much of his wealth away in the 14th century, Jackson writes, that it devalued the price of gold, teaching future oligarchs a key lesson “to never give away anything you own.” Readers learn how Henry J. Heinz used his influence with President Teddy Roosevelt to pass food regulations that eliminated competition, and how Sanford Dole convinced President Grover Cleveland to annex Hawaii by military force. While informative, the book’s strength lies in its humor and biting satirical commentary. In a particularly effective joke, a chapter ends abruptly with a pop-up ad (“Want to keep reading?”) that offers readers the rest of the book for a discounted price if they “SUBSCRIBE NOW.” Other hilarious gags include missing citations that have been sold off to corporate advertisers (endnote 2, for example, was sold to “Starkist Brand Tuna: Overfish’d ’til it’s delisch’”) and a who’s who–styled appendix of “The Great Exploiters of Earth.” The author’s engaging, wickedly smart writing style is accompanied by a wealth of visual aids, from photographs with humorous captions to original political cartoons, such as one drawing of the “Welcome” gate at a McMansion replete with barbed wire, cameras, guard dogs, and prison towers. This follow-up volume to Jackson’s previous publication, So You Want To Be a Dictator (2022), will leave readers longing for more guidebooks in the series.

A nihilistically hilarious commentary on the corporate world.