ADVANCED SEX TIPS FOR GIRLS

A sequel, nearly 20 years later, to Heimel’s Sex Tips for Girls (1983), in which the beleaguered humorist’s sex life is not all that much better: she seems to prefer her pack of dogs, especially the late, angelic, beaglish Homer (tossed out of a car at a California strip mall in 1992 by a “a disgusting lump of putrid slime [and] scum-sucking pig”) to over-attentive males who love her unconditionally, just like her mother, and sit on the edge of the bed each evening meticulously dissecting her every word and move that day in search of the slightest hint of betrayal. Is she still as saucy as in her Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye (1993) or as zingy as in her If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet (1991)? Her married friend Gillian complains, “When you’re married you don’t get to discuss your sex life or the L-word or anything with your girlfriends.” She blames the 1940s for making men insane and the ’50s for the panty girdle—“You’ll wear it and you’ll like it, little missy,” her mother tells her when she’s 11. Yet she now faces drastically reduced libido and vaginal lubrication about which she says, “I want a second opinion.”

Much fun in short takes.