THE UGLY CRY

A Black TV writer chronicles her survival of domestic violence, sexual assault, and abandonment.

When Henderson was a child, her mother, Robin, was in an abusive relationship that ultimately destroyed their family. At the time, Robin’s boyfriend, Luke, had moved into the house and refused to leave. Henderson vividly and heartbreakingly describes her experiences with Luke’s violence, which ranged from slapping her when she locked her bedroom door to do a homework assignment without her brother’s interference to sexually assaulting her in her bedroom at night. Eventually, Luke was arrested for child abuse, and Henderson believed that her nightmare might be over. But instead of rebuilding what was left of their family, Henderson’s mother dropped her and her brother, Cory, off at their grandmother’s house and reunited with Luke, a decision that gutted her daughter. At the time, she writes, “I was living in a crevasse, pressed between anger and fear. A month later, the anger gave way completely to the fear. She hadn’t even called. What if she never came back?” As one of the only Black teenagers in her mostly White town, the author had to process her racial identity alongside the trauma of surviving an abusive relationship. Henderson writes candidly about how her unprocessed grief led to depression and suicidal ideation. Eventually, her grandmother helped put her on the path to effective treatment. “The first time I felt confident and happy again at the same time,” she writes, she was 43. Henderson writes with an incredible amount of vulnerability, presenting her story with a cleareyed compassion for her mother, grandmother, and, ultimately, herself.

A redemptive memoir about a Black woman’s victory over childhood abuse, racism, and mental illness.