THE PIGEON

The theft of a caged bird may seem like no big deal, but in author Gordon’s hands the recovery mission assumes epic proportions.

Call Ramses II the Maltese Pigeon. He’s worth $1 million, and his owner, Alonzo the breeder, convinced that he’s been stolen by billionaire Wing Chow, offers Joe Brody, the bouncer at their mutual friend Giovanni Caprisi’s Club Rendezvous in Queens, 5% of that sum to retrieve him. The job seems insultingly straightforward—sneak into the thief’s place in luxurious Manhattan co-op the Eleonora, open the cage, grab the pigeon, and leave—but Joe’s completed only the first of those steps when he’s detected on the premises and escapes only by the skin of his teeth. Curious about why the Eleonora is so well fortified, he asks Juno, his underage neighborhood hacker, to find out more, and it turns out there are excellent reasons that lead to a further pursuit of the would-be pigeon rescuer: four separate attempts on his life and a listing as a target on the online International Bounty Exchange. As Joe dodges the freelance assassins jockeying to claim their reward and the NYPD chases after the Parking Avenger, a wish-fulfilling vigilante who defaces illegally parked cars, Joe’s secret lover, FBI agent Donna Zamora, is given the equally trivial-sounding job of serving as guide and bodyguard to newly arrived refugee Col. Evon Kozco, who swiftly turns into an ardent pursuer of both her and a plush apartment in the Eleonora. Donna’s too jaundiced to rejoice in a swain more socially acceptable than the unofficial sheriff of New York’s mob scene, and her reservations are abundantly justified.

Trust Gordon to whip a bunch of nothing into something breathtakingly over-the-top.