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PLEASE DON'T READ THIS BOOK!

Slight, but inviting of energetic engagement and laughter.

A blue-green blob demonstrates that some rules are meant to be broken.

The blob looks like a round splatter of paint, with stick limbs and big eyes. “Oh, hi. I see you’ve opened this book,” it says in greeting. It warns that there are rules in the book. “You” must not do “any of the cool or awesome things” the rules say not to do “because then you’ll have WAY too much fun.” Listeners at just the right age may find this rib-ticklingly funny. The first rule is that a fart noise must not be made, with large letters to sound out the noise strewn colorfully across the two-page opening. While possibly a cheap chuckle, given the audience, it allows listeners to feel bold and enjoy some silly, supervised rule-breaking. The white background and creative use of text placement, size, and color keep the visual focus on the simple, instructive narrative. The blob demonstrates additional rules, becoming larger and more animated in its agitation as an unseen listener apparently breaks the following rules: do not make “the weirdest, silliest, most RE-DONK-A-DONK face you can,” or “tap your head and rub your belly at the same time,” or “hug yourself and yell I AM THE BEST,” or “turn to whoever else is in the room and say YOU’RE AWESOME, TOO!” And finally, “please do not ask to read this book again.” Good luck. (This book was reviewed digitally with 10-by-20-inch double-page spreads viewed at 30.3% of actual size.)

Slight, but inviting of energetic engagement and laughter. (Picture book. 2-5)

Pub Date: Jan. 12, 2021

ISBN: 978-0-593-11681-4

Page Count: 32

Publisher: Philomel

Review Posted Online: Sept. 28, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2020

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YOUR BABY'S FIRST WORD WILL BE DADA

Plotless and pointless, the book clearly exists only because its celebrity author wrote it.

A succession of animal dads do their best to teach their young to say “Dada” in this picture-book vehicle for Fallon.

A grumpy bull says, “DADA!”; his calf moos back. A sad-looking ram insists, “DADA!”; his lamb baas back. A duck, a bee, a dog, a rabbit, a cat, a mouse, a donkey, a pig, a frog, a rooster, and a horse all fail similarly, spread by spread. A final two-spread sequence finds all of the animals arrayed across the pages, dads on the verso and children on the recto. All the text prior to this point has been either iterations of “Dada” or animal sounds in dialogue bubbles; here, narrative text states, “Now everybody get in line, let’s say it together one more time….” Upon the turn of the page, the animal dads gaze round-eyed as their young across the gutter all cry, “DADA!” (except the duckling, who says, “quack”). Ordóñez's illustrations have a bland, digital look, compositions hardly varying with the characters, although the pastel-colored backgrounds change. The punch line fails from a design standpoint, as the sudden, single-bubble chorus of “DADA” appears to be emanating from background features rather than the baby animals’ mouths (only some of which, on close inspection, appear to be open). It also fails to be funny.

Plotless and pointless, the book clearly exists only because its celebrity author wrote it. (Picture book. 3-5)

Pub Date: June 9, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-250-00934-0

Page Count: 32

Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

Review Posted Online: April 14, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2015

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ONE MORE DINO ON THE FLOOR

It’s a bit hard to dance, or count, to this beat.

Dinos that love to move and groove get children counting from one to 10—and perhaps moving to the beat.

Beginning with a solo bop by a female dino (she has eyelashes, doncha know), the dinosaur dance party begins. Each turn of the page adds another dino and a change in the dance genre: waltz, country line dancing, disco, limbo, square dancing, hip-hop, and swing. As the party would be incomplete without the moonwalk, the T. Rex does the honors…and once they are beyond their initial panic at his appearance, the onlookers cheer wildly. The repeated refrain on each spread allows for audience participation, though it doesn’t easily trip off the tongue: “They hear a swish. / What’s this? / One more? / One more dino on the floor.” Some of the prehistoric beasts are easily identifiable—pterodactyl, ankylosaurus, triceratops—but others will be known only to the dino-obsessed; none are identified, other than T-Rex. Packed spreads filled with psychedelically colored dinos sporting blocks of color, stripes, or polka dots (and infectious looks of joy) make identification even more difficult, to say nothing of counting them. Indeed, this fails as a counting primer: there are extra animals (and sometimes a grumpy T-Rex) in the backgrounds, and the next dino to join the party pokes its head into the frame on the page before. Besides all that, most kids won’t get the dance references.

It’s a bit hard to dance, or count, to this beat. (Picture book. 3-5)

Pub Date: March 1, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8075-1598-3

Page Count: 32

Publisher: Whitman

Review Posted Online: Jan. 19, 2016

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2016

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