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PLEASE DON'T READ THIS BOOK!

Slight, but inviting of energetic engagement and laughter.

A blue-green blob demonstrates that some rules are meant to be broken.

The blob looks like a round splatter of paint, with stick limbs and big eyes. “Oh, hi. I see you’ve opened this book,” it says in greeting. It warns that there are rules in the book. “You” must not do “any of the cool or awesome things” the rules say not to do “because then you’ll have WAY too much fun.” Listeners at just the right age may find this rib-ticklingly funny. The first rule is that a fart noise must not be made, with large letters to sound out the noise strewn colorfully across the two-page opening. While possibly a cheap chuckle, given the audience, it allows listeners to feel bold and enjoy some silly, supervised rule-breaking. The white background and creative use of text placement, size, and color keep the visual focus on the simple, instructive narrative. The blob demonstrates additional rules, becoming larger and more animated in its agitation as an unseen listener apparently breaks the following rules: do not make “the weirdest, silliest, most RE-DONK-A-DONK face you can,” or “tap your head and rub your belly at the same time,” or “hug yourself and yell I AM THE BEST,” or “turn to whoever else is in the room and say YOU’RE AWESOME, TOO!” And finally, “please do not ask to read this book again.” Good luck. (This book was reviewed digitally with 10-by-20-inch double-page spreads viewed at 30.3% of actual size.)

Slight, but inviting of energetic engagement and laughter. (Picture book. 2-5)

Pub Date: Jan. 12, 2021

ISBN: 978-0-593-11681-4

Page Count: 32

Publisher: Philomel

Review Posted Online: Sept. 28, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2020

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YOUR BABY'S FIRST WORD WILL BE DADA

Plotless and pointless, the book clearly exists only because its celebrity author wrote it.

A succession of animal dads do their best to teach their young to say “Dada” in this picture-book vehicle for Fallon.

A grumpy bull says, “DADA!”; his calf moos back. A sad-looking ram insists, “DADA!”; his lamb baas back. A duck, a bee, a dog, a rabbit, a cat, a mouse, a donkey, a pig, a frog, a rooster, and a horse all fail similarly, spread by spread. A final two-spread sequence finds all of the animals arrayed across the pages, dads on the verso and children on the recto. All the text prior to this point has been either iterations of “Dada” or animal sounds in dialogue bubbles; here, narrative text states, “Now everybody get in line, let’s say it together one more time….” Upon the turn of the page, the animal dads gaze round-eyed as their young across the gutter all cry, “DADA!” (except the duckling, who says, “quack”). Ordóñez's illustrations have a bland, digital look, compositions hardly varying with the characters, although the pastel-colored backgrounds change. The punch line fails from a design standpoint, as the sudden, single-bubble chorus of “DADA” appears to be emanating from background features rather than the baby animals’ mouths (only some of which, on close inspection, appear to be open). It also fails to be funny.

Plotless and pointless, the book clearly exists only because its celebrity author wrote it. (Picture book. 3-5)

Pub Date: June 9, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-250-00934-0

Page Count: 32

Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

Review Posted Online: April 14, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2015

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HAPPY EASTER FROM THE CRAYONS

Let these crayons go back into their box.

The Crayons return to celebrate Easter.

Six crayons (Red, Orange, Yellow, Esteban, who is green and wears a yellow cape, White, and Blue) each take a shape and scribble designs on it. Purple, perplexed and almost angry, keeps asking why no one is creating an egg, but the six friends have a great idea. They take the circle decorated with red shapes, the square adorned with orange squiggles “the color of the sun,” the triangle with yellow designs, also “the color of the sun” (a bit repetitious), a rectangle with green wavy lines, a white star, about which Purple remarks: “DID you even color it?” and a rhombus covered with blue markings and slap the shapes onto a big, light-brown egg. Then the conversation turns to hiding the large object in plain sight. The joke doesn’t really work, the shapes are not clear enough for a concept book, and though colors are delineated, it’s not a very original color book. There’s a bit of clever repartee. When Purple observe that Esteban’s green rectangle isn’t an egg, Esteban responds, “No, but MY GOSH LOOK how magnificent it is!” Still, that won’t save this lackluster book, which barely scratches the surface of Easter, whether secular or religious. The multimedia illustrations, done in the same style as the other series entries, are always fun, but perhaps it’s time to retire these anthropomorphic coloring implements. (This book was reviewed digitally.)

Let these crayons go back into their box. (Picture book. 3-5)

Pub Date: Feb. 7, 2023

ISBN: 978-0-593-62105-9

Page Count: 32

Publisher: Philomel

Review Posted Online: Oct. 11, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 1, 2022

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