CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE WHO HATE ME

A podcaster reveals behind-the-scenes details of his work and what he has learned from interacting with his guests.

After producing dozens of snarky videos for Seriously.TV, a digital TV network, and creating the web series Sitting in Bathrooms With Trans People, first-time author Marron began to receive numerous hateful comments, “all written by other internet strangers who seem to hate me.” He saved them, and by 2017, he was ready to take the next step. He reached out to 20 people who had sent him digital hate mail—weeding out those who seemed overtly dangerous or unhinged—and asked if they would consider engaging in a dialogue on a podcast. Eleven of them agreed, forming the foundation for the titular podcast, which would go on to include episodes in which Marron connected other people who violently disagreed with each other. The book introduces some fascinating characters and smoothly details the author’s learning curve. We follow Marron as he taps into his “more earnest, sincere self,” learns how to encourage conversation rather than debate, and recovers from missteps along the way. The text is structured into chapters reflecting the lessons that he learned and that he hopes to communicate to readers, including “Empathy Is Not Endorsement,” “Conversation Is a Dance,” and “Debate Is a Sport.” Marron persuasively argues that the internet is a major source of polarization and that talking personally, and listening fully—without trying to score points or to convince someone to change their mind—goes a long way toward breaking down barriers. While the narrative runs out of steam as it progresses, especially in a section about Marron's difficulty in achieving the 80,000 words he promised his publisher, his enthusiasm for forging temporary relationships with the most unlikely of strangers is palpable. The book will delight his fans and draw new listeners to the podcast.

A likable if not groundbreaking reminder of the joys of a good chat.