NOTHING IS US

A memoir of growing up in a military household in the 1950s and ’60s.

Brown, the author of the novel Tell You All (2000), was born in 1951 at Fort Benning in Georgia, and he describes his father as a domineering and violent presence in his life. His dad was a career U.S. Air Force officer who, according to the author, could fly into an abusive rage at the slightest provocation. The family moved frequently, from Michigan to Nebraska to Germany and elsewhere as the author’s father received new postings. Much of the book takes place in Texas, where they lived outside of Dallas during turbulent times as the Vietnam War raged; views that were outside the status quo could land one in trouble. As the author’s brother pointed out, “Anybody can be a hippie love freak in California. But hell, you gotta be tough, know how to fight to be a pacifist in Texas.” The author rebelled against educators that legally doled out corporal punishment; he also regularly endured his father’s wrath, he says. He fell in with a leftist group called the Revolutionary Youth Movement, which was affiliated with Students for a Democratic Society, and met people who experimented with drugs. He eventually got a GED diploma rather than continue in his hostile high school environment. Later, however, he joined the U.S. Navy, although he had a rough go of it, ultimately obtaining a general under honorable discharge before completing basic training.

Although the author notes that he eventually found stable ground, his story is one of frequent disappointments and countless physical confrontations. The prose style is sparse but telling; for example, here the author describes the Texas town in which his family lived: “Bereft of visual stimuli, the most outstanding features of this Dallas suburb were the Cowboy Stadium and a multi-lane interstate slab of concrete.” Along the way, Brown presents stories of threats and beatings and even tells of visits from the FBI, who looked into his RYM activities; as the author paints a picture of the time, it seems amazing that anyone not toeing the line could come out alive. Readers also get a thorough experience of the author’s time in the Navy, from the bus ride to the Nimitz Naval Training Center to the consequences he faced for being a cutup. Even the author’s exit from the armed forces was no simple feat, Brown explains; those who received the type of discharge he did were treated as “neither fish nor fowl; neither bad nor tough enough to do time, nor strong enough morally, physically, and intellectually to stick it out.” By contrast, a later portion on a trip to Europe provides little of interest; the author returned to where he once lived in Germany, but he does not discover all that much about himself in the process. Still, by that point, readers will be willing to follow the author for every step of his turbulent journey.

A remembrance that provides a sharp, detailed image of a tumultuous life.