Finkel puts marriage under the microscope in this more-history-than-self-help scrutiny of the institution.
A thorough analysis of American marriage throughout the ages.
In this comprehensive examination, Finkel (Psychology/Northwestern Univ.; co-author: Self and Relationships: Connecting Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Processes, 2006, etc.) traces the evolution of this sacred institution from the earliest days of hunter-gatherer societies to modern times. For most of the narrative, the author studies the way marriage has evolved over the centuries based on the needs and desires of people. Early unions centered around food, shelter, and child-rearing, which morphed into more "love-based" relationships in the 1700s and 1800s. Outside influences—such as the industrial era, world wars, the free love of the 1960s, the increase of women in the workforce, and the need for both parents to work—have also played critical roles in changing the marriage paradigm. For those looking for solutions to their own marital issues, Finkel offers a variety of "love hacks," quick, temporary fixes for small issues that often arise in marriages. The author then goes on to provide more lasting strategies that couples can incorporate to create a thriving marriage in which each partner is free to express him- or herself and experience personal growth while supporting and encouraging his or her spouse to do the same. Finkel also emphasizes the importance of having friendships and relationships outside the marriage, traveling alone, living apart but being together, lowering one's expectations of one's spouse regarding the "perfect" marriage, and encouraging masturbation and sexual exploration. In addition to extensive research, the author bolsters the narrative with charts, diagrams, and numerous quotes from a variety of sources. As the author writes, it is possible to create a loving, lasting union, but it requires work, communication, and commitment on the part of both parties, and the process will change as time progresses.
Finkel puts marriage under the microscope in this more-history-than-self-help scrutiny of the institution.Pub Date: Sept. 19, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-525-95516-0
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Dutton
Review Posted Online: July 2, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2017
For Howard Zinn, long-time civil rights and anti-war activist, history and ideology have a lot in common. Since he thinks that everything is in someone's interest, the historian—Zinn posits—has to figure out whose interests he or she is defining/defending/reconstructing (hence one of his previous books, The Politics of History). Zinn has no doubts about where he stands in this "people's history": "it is a history disrespectful of governments and respectful of people's movements of resistance." So what we get here, instead of the usual survey of wars, presidents, and institutions, is a survey of the usual rebellions, strikes, and protest movements. Zinn starts out by depicting the arrival of Columbus in North America from the standpoint of the Indians (which amounts to their standpoint as constructed from the observations of the Europeans); and, after easily establishing the cultural disharmony that ensued, he goes on to the importation of slaves into the colonies. Add the laborers and indentured servants that followed, plus women and later immigrants, and you have Zinn's amorphous constituency. To hear Zinn tell it, all anyone did in America at any time was to oppress or be oppressed; and so he obscures as much as his hated mainstream historical foes do—only in Zinn's case there is that absurd presumption that virtually everything that came to pass was the work of ruling-class planning: this amounts to one great indictment for conspiracy. Despite surface similarities, this is not a social history, since we get no sense of the fabric of life. Instead of negating the one-sided histories he detests, Zinn has merely reversed the image; the distortion remains.
Pub Date: Jan. 1, 1979
ISBN: 0061965588
Page Count: 772
Publisher: Harper & Row
Review Posted Online: May 26, 2012
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1979
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...
A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.
Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”
A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6
Page Count: 248
Publisher: Random House
Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015
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