LOVE(LY) CHILD

Xavier fashions and refashions his idea of himself in this newest collection of poems.

The author is used to seeing himself from the outside. In this collection, Xavier places the reader within the many perspectives through which he has been viewed over the years, from that of his white-passing mother (“Then there was me / indigenous child / unwanted / brown-skinned / with freckles / … / everyone wondering where I came from / Adopted?”) (“Feo”) to those of the long-lost siblings he attempted to reconnect with in adulthood (“My siblings never responded to my message / likely after finding out I was a childless, married // homosexual”) (“50%”). Along the way, the poet considers how he must have appeared to his abusive stepfather; to the men who bought his services while he labored as a teenage sex worker; and even to himself, in the mirror, after learning in middle-age that his birth father was not Puerto Rican but Ecuadorian: “I see Ecuador and no longer Puerto Rico // I see indigenous spirits moving across the backs of Amerindian’s — / Inca’s and Taino’s splattered with the red blood / of sacrificed chickens…” (“American Redux”). Xavier’s cadence varies from poem to poem—some verses read like prose broken (or not broken) into lines, while others feature staccato clauses dense with feeling. The rhythm is always musical, and the best pieces are rich with arresting images and barbed confessions: “There were times I felt like garbage on the side of the / dance floor, watching men fall in love under disco lights” (“Vial”). Some lines, burdened with strained metaphors, fall flat: “Lights from a galaxy / could take billions of years to reach me/us/them / racism from a stranger’s milky way / only takes seconds” (“Alienated”). Even at their least effective, however, these poems, in their evocation of the queer subculture of 1970s and 1980s New York City, capture the richness of a vanished time and place through the eyes of a poet perennially in flux.

A vibrant collection of confessional, polemical verses.