FORWARD THE MAGE

Fantasy sequel to Flint’s episodic and tongue-in-cheek solo novel The Philosophical Strangler (2001), which featured the giant professional strangler (and quandary-crazed amateur philosopher) Greyboar, his disgruntled sidekick agent/manager Ignace, the cult of Joe (the caveman who invented Old Geister—or God—and so had Joe’s Big Mountains, Joe’s Mountains, Joe’s Hills, Joe’s Favorite Woods, and Joe’s Sea named after him), and Greyboar’s Kantian qualms about the meaning of it all as a strangler and his moral aversion to strangling a girl (he doesn’t do women). We now return to Grotum and New Sfinctr and suffer the delayed entrance of “the man by whom professional thuggee should be judged” for the return of the disgustingly handsome, despicably skilled, appallingly talented artist Benvenuti Sfondrati-Piccolomini, Notorious Scapegrace, in turbulencies taken from his famous autobiography, as he arrives at the sluggish, oily waters of Goimr harbor (which give rise to the expression “grubby as Goimr”). But should a promising young artist linger in such a place? His frenzied flashing sword soon saves the giantess Gwendolyn, Greyboar’s sister, by slaying a great mob of ruffians, largely by back-stabbing (the code of the Sfondrati-Piccolomini). But when he comes up against the wizard Zulkeh and his doltish dwarf Shelyid, Benvenuti must struggle through a profound maloneirophrenia.

Quite amusing longiloquence, largiloquence, grandiloquence, multiloquence, polylogy, and rodomontade, with flatulence as infamous and peccant as verbosity. Really.