HEY, YOU'RE NOT SANTA!

Santa needs a bystander to stand in for him, but a child can see right through the ruse.

Santa is at the home of a child whose present he left at the North Pole. He needs someone to stand in for him while he dashes back to grab the gift. The only one nearby is a cow, who eagerly agrees to the task. Santa insists that the cow not let on that she isn’t Santa. But despite the elaborate costume (which does not hide cowbell, tail, or hooves), as soon as the cow says, “Moo-moo-moo, Merry Christmas,” the child has doubts. When the child apologizes for being out of milk, the cow mysteriously produces some. The cow thanks the child for putting out the tree, since she loves to eat grass and trees. When the child declares that the cow is not Santa, she tries to play herself off as anything else—Mrs. Claus? An elf? The Easter Bunny? Nope. But just as the cow starts to explain, the real Santa shows up with armfuls of extra gifts for the child for being so nice this year. There is no rhyme or reason to the story, and the goofy cartoon illustrations only exacerbate the ridiculousness, but a fraction of children will find it giggleworthy nonetheless. The all-dialogue text is set in speech bubbles. Santa (the real one) presents White; the skeptical child has light-brown skin and a pouf of brown hair. (This book was reviewed digitally.)

Extremely—almost annoyingly—silly.