MORE THAN TWO, SECOND EDITION

Rickert and Zanin present a comprehensive guide to living and loving within a polyamorous relationship.

This thorough handbook covers all aspects of living polyamorously—from one’s initial decision to embrace the lifestyle and common communication mistakes to strategies to help tackle jealousy and set healthy boundaries. Some sections apply to readers in any kind of relationship, such as the need for a healthy sense of self-love. Other parts are specifically for those in polyamorous relationships, like a discussion about when and how often to begin new relationships. Each chapter begins with a relevant quote from sources including philosopher Hannah Arendt and performance poet Kai Cheng Thom. While there are some lists presented as bullet points, such as the imperative “Relationship Bill of Rights” (“You have the right, without shame, blame or guilt…to revoke consent to any form of intimacy at any time”), most chapters simply break down the material under headings and subheadings. While more visual learners might chafe at this, it does allow the authors to pack a substantial amount of essential information into the book’s hefty 400-plus pages. From the beginning, Rickert and Zanin allow that nonmonogamy isn’t for everyone. They never characterize the practice as being anything more than an alternative choice to what are current societal norms: “It is not the next wave in human evolution. Nor is it more enlightened, more spiritual, more progressive or more advanced than monogamy.” This nonjudgmental approach permeates the entire book, creating a safe and nurturing place for readers to explore their decision to partake (or not partake) in polyamory. Every facet of the subject is thoughtfully considered and handled with the utmost professionalism. With thorough research and a clear narrative style, Rickert and Zanin dole out facts and advice that readers can turn to again and again at any point throughout their polyamory journey.

A smart, compassionate resource for anyone who’s ever wondered about polyamory.