A rarity among self-help books that imparts pablum-free concepts and methods with the power to change mindsets and lives.
A perceptive, persuasive analysis of self-imposed suffering with a practical formula for relief and release.
To psychologist Hartman, “It’s all in your mind” is neither a dismissive statement nor cliché; it’s the truth. Hartman paints the mind—which he distinguishes from the physical organ that is the brain—as a vast repository of memory that controls, and usually sabotages, us. Instead of allowing us to accept each moment as it is, the mind plunges us into a storehouse of negative emotions that perpetuate unhappiness and pain, as well as a yearning for a perfect, unending and unachievable experience. The approach is similar to that of cognitive behavioral therapy. To underscore the universality of the sabotaging mind—and the urgent need to change its negative impact—Hartman addresses his exploration of the mind to all of human consciousness, which plays the nonspeaking role of a patient in a series of theatrical scenes. The set up is entertaining, thanks to whimsical stage directions and the engaging, nonpedantic manner of a caring, passionate therapist. Though the mind is the target, the discussion is neither dry nor cut off from the heart (or practicality). Abstractions give way to specific steps for breaking free of painful emotions, including pausing when the magnetism of memories kicks in. The guide also outlines seven specific attitudinal shifts that stop the cycle of both reliving memories and blaming other events or people for one’s internal state or mood. The payoff is the ability to embrace the simplicity of each moment as it comes and as it ultimately goes.
A rarity among self-help books that imparts pablum-free concepts and methods with the power to change mindsets and lives.Pub Date: Sept. 14, 2012
ISBN: 978-0595686971
Page Count: 221
Publisher: iUniverse
Review Posted Online: Nov. 19, 2018
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.
The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.
Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023
ISBN: 9781627783316
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Viva Editions
Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.
Want to get ahead in business? Consult a dictionary.
By Wharton School professor Berger’s account, much of the art of persuasion lies in the art of choosing the right word. Want to jump ahead of others waiting in line to use a photocopy machine, even if they’re grizzled New Yorkers? Throw a because into the equation (“Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I’m in a rush?”), and you’re likely to get your way. Want someone to do your copying for you? Then change your verbs to nouns: not “Can you help me?” but “Can you be a helper?” As Berger notes, there’s a subtle psychological shift at play when a person becomes not a mere instrument in helping but instead acquires an identity as a helper. It’s the little things, one supposes, and the author offers some interesting strategies that eager readers will want to try out. Instead of alienating a listener with the omniscient should, as in “You should do this,” try could instead: “Well, you could…” induces all concerned “to recognize that there might be other possibilities.” Berger’s counsel that one should use abstractions contradicts his admonition to use concrete language, and it doesn’t help matters to say that each is appropriate to a particular situation, while grammarians will wince at his suggestion that a nerve-calming exercise to “try talking to yourself in the third person (‘You can do it!’)” in fact invokes the second person. Still, there are plenty of useful insights, particularly for students of advertising and public speaking. It’s intriguing to note that appeals to God are less effective in securing a loan than a simple affirmative such as “I pay all bills…on time”), and it’s helpful to keep in mind that “the right words used at the right time can have immense power.”
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.Pub Date: March 7, 2023
ISBN: 9780063204935
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Harper Business
Review Posted Online: March 23, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 2023
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