GENERATIONS DEEP

A study of how emotional dysfunction can take on a generational aspect.

“If we really want to respect the generations gone by,” writes licensed counselorBirkemeier in this work of nonfiction that melds genealogy and personal psychology, “we must learn from them, and if possible, grow beyond them.” In a long process of “dismantling the dysfunction” of her past, the author sought to untangle the effects of lies and distortions; for example, she found out only later in life that her mother gave her up for adoption, took her back, and then gave her up for adoption a second time. She also notes that her memories contain gaps because she may have been “drunk, high or maybe both my entire high school career.” She gradually adopted a mantra that would guide her later research: “Breaking cycles. Slaying shame. Finding freedom.” In these pages, Birkemeier looks back at her own family tree—specifically, at ancestors’ toxic behaviors and how their stories carry into later generations, allowing “layers of dysfunction to grow.” The author breaks these lessons into small segments and follows each with a moment for reader reflection that begins with the greeting “Dear Friend” (“it is here we should pause and discuss something important”). Birkemeier employs a fast-paced and engagingly straightforward style as she tells stories from her childhood and young adulthood, and this creates a low-stress atmosphere that’s welcoming to readers dealing with difficult family memories. The author also frequently explains biochemical aspects of trauma, noting, as when she notes that the hyperstimulation of the amygdala can leave it permanently “in the ‘on’ position,” causing one to sense danger everywhere; these give her personal reflections even greater heft. The end result is an intriguing study of the legacy of emotional baggage, ultimately cast in a tone of optimism: “You don’t know what you don’t know until you know it,” she writes. “Then, when you know, you must do something with it.”

A readable and in-depth look at how sins of the past can live on, and how one can confront them.