TRANSFORMATIVE GRIEF

Dunblazier presents a comprehensive, wide-angle view of healing from grief.

Each of us, the author asserts, will have “multiple relationships to the losses we experience,” and those relationships can take a variety of forms, expressed in terms of aggression, displacement, delusional thinking, or even overeating. These responses, she says, are related to three broad “circles” of experience: the traumatic event itself; the beliefs, ideas, or choices that are brought to light by that event; and the consequences of acting upon these notions. Dunblazier draws on her experience as a professional counselor, but she also puts a good deal of emphasis on one’s “spiritual imprint” as the key to the phenomenon of grief: “You may relate to them as past lives or simply the inclination and compulsions you begin with, but no matter how you see them, they are the premising lens through which you view life, as well as the foundation of your grief.” She suggests a variety of compensatory activities, from journaling to singing to sex, advising her readers on how to focus that “premising lens” in order to better view their grief. Dunblazier writes with appealing sensitivity throughout this book. Although her specific spiritual rituals (lighting candles, making use of a “sacred altar area,” and so on) won’t appeal to every reader, her more generalized comments show a deep understanding of the nature of grieving that will be useful to anyone who may be dealing with loss. She reassures them that grief is not a sign of weakness, for example, and that many bereaved people take comfort in dealing with pragmatic details, such as paying bills or cleaning the house. Likewise, the personal anecdotes that dot the book will help many grieving readers to know that they’re not alone.

A sweeping, compassionate, and thought-provoking look at recovery from loss.