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Civil engineering administrator Joy tells her story of partying and parenting with gritty honesty and humor.

This no-holds-barred memoir offers radical candor as it encompasses everything from the Virginia-born author’s childhood dreams and preoccupations to her acceptance of middle age. In thematically organized chapters, Joy recounts how she went from being a strong-minded, hard-partying girl to a single mother working for engineering firms. Her story is littered with references to her favorite songs (the music that “made” her, as the book’s subtitle note), whose titles appear, often with additional details, in regular footnotes throughout the text. Joy spent her teen years in Virginia Beach in the 1990s, drinking, taking drugs, and clubbing with close friends. Her stories of that time are mostly fun and fluffy, but she also relates how her alcohol use eventually led to increasingly unsatisfying and risky sexual encounters. The memoir details how Joy gradually moved on from this time in her life, becoming a young mother, navigating a toxic marriage and divorce, and starts a career in administrative positions at engineering firms. Joy’s voice is brassy and confessional throughout, and the book reads like an extended monologue from a braver and wilder best friend: “It doesn’t get more authentic than this, my friends,” she writes early on. The frank, often harrowing detail with which she describes sexual acts are compelling, as is her account of her anger at being exploited and treated like a disposable object by men. She also compellingly discusses her experiences with sexual assault. These stories will likely strike a chord with many female readers. As the book addresses other topics, such as exercise and office jobs, the author’s voice feels less urgent, and a more chronological structure might have helped to keep the pacing consistent. Still, Joy’s prodigious storytelling skills often shine through.

A remembrance that sometimes meanders but offers great warmth and insight.