I CAN SEE FOR MILES

Human resources professional and keynote speaker Stuart presents a memoir of the hard work of healing from the trauma of abuse.

The author happily grew up in Pawhuska, Oklahoma, a small town in the Osage Hills, but her life was upended when her father died suddenly in 1983, when she was 8 years old. Her mother, in order to support her four children, moved the family to Oklahoma City. The change was jarring, but Stuart adjusted by letting her “natural silliness” show, making friends, and finding refuge in reading and long-distance running. Then, in 1988, when she was 13, two neighborhood boys sexually assaulted her in her home multiple times over several months. She was unable to tell her family, as she felt that she was somehow at fault: “I had to carry this heavy burden and live with the belief that I was a terrible person and deserved what had happened to me.” Although she found success as a corporate manager in adulthood, she contended with PTSD from the attacks, including experiencing feelings of inadequacy, nightmares, anxiety, and deep depression. Distance running and spirituality helped her cope, and graduate studies and travel strengthened her empathy and expanded her perspective. To alleviate her PTSD, she used alternative reiki treatments, consulted with an “angel therapist” while also getting traditional therapy, took medication, and received support from a life coach. This thoughtful book will give hope to many readers who may be dealing with similar difficulties, as when she tells of her realization that “just because I was struggling didn’t mean I was failing. I can endure my darkest moments and still survive.” Over the course of this book, she also writes lyrically and inspiringly about personal achievements, such as a transformative climbing expedition to Mt. Kilimanjaro: “The night sky transformed from navy to fluorescent blue, the unrisen sun illuminating the volcanic peaks. Even though I hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours and was dehydrated, nauseous, and exhausted, I felt enraptured.” Overall, the book is a testament to the importance of never giving up.

An inspirational remembrance that offers powerful accounts of therapeutic experiences.