A funny, sharply observed, and intelligent journey into self-identity.
A gender nonconforming writer and performer debuts with a memoir about growing into the “most effervescent, gorgeous, dignified sissy that the world has ever seen.”
From early childhood, Tobia’s “femininity came as naturally as my masculinity.” But in a household defined by a “mundane, practical masculinity,” Tobia found few avenues for self-expression. Once in preschool, the author found that gender identity was so heavily policed by parents, teachers, and other children that they renounced all outward markers of femininity a few years later. Church—and specifically, the handbell choir—became a space that allowed Tobia to quietly "queen out.” The author also discovered another refuge among schoolmates whose tastes in anime and fantasy allowed them access to “lots of gay-leaning stuff: shows about sparkly dragons, cartoons about fairies, anime with buff shirtless dudes screaming in ecstasy as they shot their giant laser beams at other dudes.” Female high school friends gradually helped the author take their first steps toward accepting their homosexuality and femininity. But Tobia still faced opposition from others, including the members of their beloved church congregation. It was in the relative freedom of college at Duke that Tobia fought to claim their “femininity in the light of day.” By senior year, the author, who was a member of the Biden Foundation’s Advisory Council for Advancing LGBTQ Equality, became a respected, highly visible gender activist who proudly wore skirts and heels. Tobia’s “coming-of-gender” story about a trans identity that refuses to be contained within the cisgender masculine/feminine binary, is refreshing, courageous, and important. Though the author sometimes overdoes the self-congratulation and snarkiness, these flaws are more than overcome by the feisty candor and wit, especially when discussing their relationship with their parents and the church that at first rejected but then finally accepted Tobia’s sparkling “queer spirit.”
A funny, sharply observed, and intelligent journey into self-identity.Pub Date: March 5, 2019
ISBN: 978-0-7352-1882-6
Page Count: 336
Publisher: Putnam
Review Posted Online: Dec. 2, 2018
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2019
The author's youthfulness helps to assure the inevitable comparison with the Anne Frank diary although over and above the...
Elie Wiesel spent his early years in a small Transylvanian town as one of four children.
He was the only one of the family to survive what Francois Maurois, in his introduction, calls the "human holocaust" of the persecution of the Jews, which began with the restrictions, the singularization of the yellow star, the enclosure within the ghetto, and went on to the mass deportations to the ovens of Auschwitz and Buchenwald. There are unforgettable and horrifying scenes here in this spare and sombre memoir of this experience of the hanging of a child, of his first farewell with his father who leaves him an inheritance of a knife and a spoon, and of his last goodbye at Buchenwald his father's corpse is already cold let alone the long months of survival under unconscionable conditions.
Pub Date: Jan. 16, 2006
ISBN: 0374500010
Page Count: 120
Publisher: Hill & Wang
Review Posted Online: Oct. 7, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2006
Well-told and admonitory.
Young-rags-to-mature-riches memoir by broker and motivational speaker Gardner.
Born and raised in the Milwaukee ghetto, the author pulled himself up from considerable disadvantage. He was fatherless, and his adored mother wasn’t always around; once, as a child, he spied her at a family funeral accompanied by a prison guard. When beautiful, evanescent Moms was there, Chris also had to deal with Freddie “I ain’t your goddamn daddy!” Triplett, one of the meanest stepfathers in recent literature. Chris did “the dozens” with the homies, boosted a bit and in the course of youthful adventure was raped. His heroes were Miles Davis, James Brown and Muhammad Ali. Meanwhile, at the behest of Moms, he developed a fondness for reading. He joined the Navy and became a medic (preparing badass Marines for proctology), and a proficient lab technician. Moving up in San Francisco, married and then divorced, he sold medical supplies. He was recruited as a trainee at Dean Witter just around the time he became a homeless single father. All his belongings in a shopping cart, Gardner sometimes slept with his young son at the office (apparently undiscovered by the night cleaning crew). The two also frequently bedded down in a public restroom. After Gardner’s talents were finally appreciated by the firm of Bear Stearns, his American Dream became real. He got the cool duds, hot car and fine ladies so coveted from afar back in the day. He even had a meeting with Nelson Mandela. Through it all, he remained a prideful parent. His own no-daddy blues are gone now.
Well-told and admonitory.Pub Date: June 1, 2006
ISBN: 0-06-074486-3
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Amistad/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2006
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