WITCH & WIZARD

In a parallel world, a new political party, the New Order, has come to power. Its leader, The One Who Is The One, hates children, those with imagination and magic users. Unbeknownst to teenage siblings Wisteria and Whitford Allgood, they are powerful magic users. The New Order arrests, imprisons, tests, tortures and sentences them to death. Thankfully, they’re rescued by the teen resistance to fight another day for the good of all levels of reality, as they must survive to fulfill a great prophecy. In a series of mercifully short chapters narrated by two indistinguishable teens, megaseller Patterson, with co-author Charbonnet in tow, kicks off his latest series for younger audiences with a completely derivative blast of capital letters and exclamation points. The dialogue rings as true as a plastic bell, and the scant prose is so purple it’s ultraviolet. Flimsy characters are slammed around a plot that lacks any internal logic. No cliché is left unused in this insulting-to-its-audience, nonsensical flapdoodle. You’ll have to purchase it due to the ad campaign and author-branding, just don’t invest too heavily—save your dollars for better. (Fantasy. 10-14)