CALIGULA'S KITCHEN

In this farcical work set in first-century Rome, the Emperor Caligula goes mad and his chef tries to save him from ruin.

The Emperor Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus—commonly referred to as Caligula—suffers from at least two grave problems: He is widely despised by his people and is descending into insanity. He suddenly proclaims himself a god, challenges the 100 best gladiators in Rome to a death match, and chats about politics with a horse, Incitatus. In an attempt to force the fictional King Neptune—or “old Neppy”—into submission, he even declares war on the sea. The emperor’s chef, Logos, a wily and resourceful Greek, continually attempts to rescue Caligula from his own self-destructiveness, a role that keeps “testing his wits to the limit.” Logos fears the competitive anarchy that will ensue should Caligula be dethroned and a republic established. Terminiello comically chronicles Logos’ ingenious efforts to protect Caligula from himself, an increasingly worrisome problem since—as he learns from Tatiana the vestal who is not a virgin—the senators no longer fear the leader. The author hits some memorable comedic highs; his depiction of 900 soldiers charging the sea—“Aqua warfare”—is hilarious. But most of the humor is more silly than funny—one might say zany at best and childishly lowbrow at worst. For example, Lady Labia—Caligula’s “wife, girlfriend, or sister or all three”—joins the cult of “Chrissies” until she balks at one of its demands: “Do you know what they wanted me to do?...They wanted me to wash some smelly beggar’s feet!” Terminiello sometimes seems to be phoning in the humor—characters have names like Devious Maximus and Effetus the Choreographer.

A madcap Roman Empire story densely packed with bumpy humor.