CENTER CENTER

A memoir from the principal dancer at the American Ballet Theatre.

After realizing his childhood dream to become a professional dancer, Whiteside (b. 1984) narrates his journey. In 1996, his dance teachers brought 12-year-old James to see ABT's spring gala show at Lincoln Center, and he was mesmerized by "the virtuosity, the music, the costumes, the drama, THE BUTTS!" The author chronicles his swift rise through the ranks at ABT's Summer Intensive program, the Virginia School of the Arts, the Boston Ballet, and ABT. Though Whiteside thought that he “was doing something super gay,” ballet proved to be "just another heteronormative endeavor.” Because he “wasn't able to express my true self in my art,” he created his own gay roles, acting out his alter egos JbDubs, a pop musician, and Ühu Betch, “the drag queen with a flair for nonsense.” The author, who clearly worked tirelessly to reach his goal, is an elite athlete and an expressive actor, blessed with both musicality and physical grace. However, readers seeking details about his artistic training or technique are out of luck. There are few backstage stories or descriptions of favorite partners, roles, or performances. Whiteside does delve deeply and often movingly into his mother's tragic life trajectory. He devotes less-engaging chapters to his dating history and his beloved pets, and a missed flight and overnight stay at the "Casablanca Roach Motel" serve as the basis for a comic script for a Pussycat Dolls–themed musical (40 pages, included in full). Whiteside tells his story candidly and with occasional humor, delivering a requiem for his youth (“The end has already come—the end of wild youth. Any wildness now is just bad choices”), but he fails to provide any exciting scenes about opening nights or standout performances. To borrow the title of the last chapter, "Why Not?"

An energetic yet disjointed coming-of-age story; readers seeking insight into the world of ballet should look elsewhere.