MY WIFE SAID YOU MAY WANT TO MARRY ME

An essay gone viral leads to this memoir about deep loss and navigating profound grief.

In March 2017, on the eve of her death from ovarian cancer, bestselling author Amy Krouse Rosenthal published a piece in the “Modern Love” section of the New York Times. Titled “You May Want To Marry My Husband,” it read like an expanded dating-site post extolling the virtues of the man who would soon become a widower. It generated millions of views and plenty of responses, including a few marriage proposals, but also numerous messages of support from well-wishers who had experienced similar tragedies. This book contains the entire original column as well as a follow-up column, written by the author, titled “My Wife Said You May Want To Marry Me,” excerpts from many of the responses he received, and passages from notes and letters he and his wife exchanged during what seemed like an idyllic marriage. “If he sounds like a prince and our relationship seems like a fairy tale, it’s not too far off,” she wrote in her essay, and this memoir corroborates that account. Yet her death wasn’t the turn a fairy tale is supposed to take, and the author’s coming to terms with it is easily the most moving and useful part of the book. As he writes, he discovered that “grief as a process is unique to everyone, and there is no right or wrong way to flow through it.” He takes us through that process and shows us what kinds of support were particularly helpful. He doesn’t have any desire to let go, but he found that he was able to move on, even to fall in love again, perhaps partly because his late wife encouraged him to do so.

A memoir filled with advice and support for anyone else going through similar circumstances.