CLEAVAGE

Charting the boundaries between manhood and womanhood.

In 15 engaging chapters that blend memoir and cultural critique, Boylan chronicles numerous formative experiences, ranging from her childhood and adolescence on the Philadelphia Main Line, to college at Wesleyan University and marriage as a cis man to a cis woman, to parenthood and success as a writer and college professor. The book’s emotional linchpin is “Mothers,” in which Boylan, a noted authority on gender, depicts her older child’s decision post-college to transition from cis male to trans woman. Boylan initially experienced a welter of conflicting emotions upon learning of her child’s intentions: “It was all something I’d never have wished on anybody, especially someone whom I loved” and “Is it possible, I wondered, that I made this look like fun?” The irony and painful surprise are worthy of an O. Henry story. Other chapters are informed by observations of the shifting attitudes toward trans people and the fewer opportunities for community that Boylan has noted over the past two decades since she first came out as trans: “There used to be a lot of [trans-centered] conventions, places where trans people could safely gather for a weekend.” Of her 2003 memoir She’s Not There, Boylan remarks that the book is permeated by “an air of apology,” and “In so many ways, the author of that book is begging the reader—Please, don’t hate me. I’m so sorry.” Today, however, “People coming out as trans…aren’t apologizing for who they are. They aren’t begging for forgiveness or understanding.” Her stated hope for her community, in spite of rising backlash, is that “love will prevail”—the same words her mother used when Boylan told her she was transitioning.

An exploration of gender that effectively balances pathos and humor.