FUTURE WIDOW

A detailed memoir serves as a guide for patient advocates/caregivers whose significant others have terminal illnesses.

In May 2015, Lisk’s 40-something husband, Dennis, told her he had been “feeling a little dizzy lately.” She urged him to call his doctor, and he made an appointment to visit the physician in three weeks. Over the next few days, he began to show signs of increasing short-term memory loss and confusion. The author took over after the first week and got a same-day appointment. Dennis was immediately sent for an MRI, and, within an hour, the couple received unexpected and devastating news from the doctor: “ ‘There’s something really wrong with your brain,’ he said….‘It might be glioblastoma. You need to see the neurosurgeon tomorrow.’ ” (Glioblastoma is an especially aggressive cancer.) And so began an excruciating eight-month marathon during which Lisk took on the role of medical manager and full-time caregiver as well as de facto single parent to the couple’s two children, only 8 and 10 years old at the time. Early on, the author’s sister set up a blogging page for her on the social media forum CaringBridge. “I had no idea at this point,” Lisk writes, “that blogging was about to become my vehicle for speaking to my corner of the world. My refuge in a time of crisis and chaos.” This meticulous memoir is a selected collection of writings culled from those blogs. Each post is followed by long sections that expand on and give context to the early, just-the-facts CaringBridge entries. It is in these passages, despite some repetition, that the author clearly articulates the sadness and exhaustion during those months of losing her husband bit by inexorable bit. She did share one especially poignant moment with her CaringBridge followers: On Dec. 13, 2015, her daughter asked if she could give her father his Christmas present that day—in case he died before the holiday. Sure, Lisk decided, because on Christmas “he won’t remember that he already opened it.” Fellow travelers will find a soul mate in these pages, plus some helpful tips and resources.

A heartbreaking but forthright, informative, and ultimately forward-looking cancer account.