SCREAMING ON THE INSIDE

How historical constructions of American motherhood have rendered modern motherhood an almost impossible task.

Grose, a journalist who writes a parenting column for the New York Times, opens with a brief historical section on parenting in early America. “Unlike today,” she writes, “where most guidance is directed toward mothers, in colonial times written guidance for parents was addressed to both mothers and fathers.” As the author shows, eventually, the racist drive to increase the White population and to separate upper-class White women from their working-class and Black peers led to the reification of gender roles and, more specifically, the concept of the model mother who was dedicated to her children above all else while being confined in her home. In modern times, the expectation that women are primarily responsible for childhood has continued, with devastating and, at times, deeply contradictory effects. For example, Grose illustrates how social media accounts run by mostly White influencer mothers both reinforce harmful ideals of perfectionism while also providing mothers in conservative families one of their only sources of income and connection to the outside world. The author ends the book on a note of hope, profiling mothers whose passion for parenting their children has led them to begin activist movements designed to reform the overlapping systems that keep American parents and children from getting the physical and emotional support they need to thrive. Grose’s fiery compassion is matched by her profoundly complex understanding of the material and her trenchant, witty prose. Although she consciously includes the voices of diverse, modern mothers, her analysis is sometimes more relevant to White, heterosexual, cisgendered mothers, particularly in the historical sections. Still, the author is clear in her intent to be inclusive, and her topic is relevant and worthy of discussion.

A deeply researched and highly relatable analysis of American motherhood, past and present.