BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK

A complete guide to having a baby without being married.

Jim and Jessica Braz begin their book with some eye-opening numbers: nearly 40% of all births in America take place with unmarried parents—1,500,000 children are born out of wedlock every day. Those parents will have lots of questions, and the authors answer many of them here. Some topics will be familiar to parents reviewing information on childbirth: miscarriages, C-sections, vaccinations, and sudden infant death syndrome. But given the book’s emphasis on co-parenting that happens without the benefit (social and legal) of a marriage contract, much of their book deals with varying concepts of cooperation, ways for two people who are not technically bound to each other to work together for the sake of their child. The authors have been through this personally (they are married now, but each has had a child out of wedlock) and know the intricacies of, for instance, dealing with lawyers, warning their readers, “some attorneys are more interested in increasing their billable hours than doing what’s best for you.” If the need arises, it’s the lawyers who’ll establish the limits of sole physical custody, joint physical custody, and the complications of legal custody in all its forms. Those and other concerns—everything from prenatal care to school issues—arise from all aspects of having a child out of wedlock, and the authors tackle all of those complications with warmth, sympathy, and a very approachable style. They suggest a variety of ways to avoid escalating arguments—and are also very clear about what to do when the situation can’t be saved, if, for instance, the mother isn’t taking care of her health during pregnancy: “If you are begging and pleading for your unborn child’s well-being and Mom still won’t listen to reason,” they write, “then at that point, we think you would need to consult your lawyer.” Readers dealing with these kinds of issues will find this book invaluable, particularly with regard to negotiation.

Skillfully outlines how to prepare for and raise a child out of wedlock.