A moving account of caring and advocating for children with disabilities.
In this memoir, a mother compares her life as a dancer with parenting two children with disabilities.
When De Simone became a mother following the end of her dancing career, she experienced the unexpected. Her first son, Benjamin, presented with cerebral palsy, seizures, and a neuronal migration disorder that impeded his ability to walk and talk. Her second son, Sebastian, was diagnosed with a “pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified.” The author and her husband, John, navigated the harrowing reality of conflicting diagnoses, various special education placements, and incompetent school professionals. These difficulties were all part of the grief and anxiety that accompanied the daily ups and downs of raising children with low-incidence disabilities. Due to school and placement challenges, the family left their beloved Brooklyn for New Jersey, where they found the educational experiences and community they desired for their family. What’s most evident in the narrative is the love that De Simone and her husband have for their two boys. This memoir affectingly charts the couple’s road to acceptance, illustrating their own challenges as they both see and love their children for who they are. De Simone’s knowledge as both a mother and a special educator adds context to the educational experiences and the medical scenarios, and she authentically conveys the myriad emotions experienced by the parents of children with disabilities. (“Every time I changed Benjamin’s diaper, his intact foreskin reminded me that we didn’t want to change what nature had intended. We saved some skin.”) The narrative also encapsulates what it’s like to feel excluded from the community at large, calling out the societal structures in place that demean people with disabilities. Reflecting on various schools and playgrounds, De Simone observes, “We had every right to be there, but I didn’t feel like we belonged.” Although there are moments when the conceit of dance as a metaphor for parenthood takes away from the story, this memoir serves as an honest depiction of what it’s like to navigate the world as parents of children with significant disabilities.
A moving account of caring and advocating for children with disabilities.Pub Date: Sept. 17, 2024
ISBN: 9781647427146
Page Count: 264
Publisher: She Writes Press
Review Posted Online: May 23, 2024
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
An intriguing but uneven family memoir and travelogue.
An author’s trip to Venice takes a distinctly Borgesian turn.
In November 2020, soccer club Venizia F.C. offered Nigerian American author Madu a writing residency as part of its plan “to turn the team into a global entity of fashion, culture, and sports.” Flying to Venice for the fellowship, he felt guilty about leaving his immigrant parents, who were shocked to learn upon moving to the U.S. years earlier that their Nigerian teaching certifications were invalid, forcing his father to work as a stocking clerk at Rite Aid to support the family. Madu’s experiences in Venice are incidental to what is primarily a story about his family, especially his strained relationship with his father, who was disappointed with many of his son’s choices. Unfortunately, the author’s seeming disinterest in Venice renders much of the narrative colorless. He says the trip across the Ponte della Libertà bridge was “magical,” but nothing he describes—the “endless water on both sides,” the nearby seagulls—is particularly remarkable. Little in the text conveys a sense of place or the unique character of his surroundings. Madu is at his best when he focuses on family dynamics and his observations that, in the largely deserted city, “I was one of the few Black people around.” He cites Borges, giving special note to the author’s “The House of Asterion,” in which the minotaur “explains his situation as a creature and as a creature within the labyrinth” of multiple mirrors. This notion leads to the Borgesian turn in the book’s second half, when, in an extended sequence, Madu imagines himself transformed into a minotaur, with “the head of a bull” and his body “larger, thicker, powerful but also cumbersome.” It’s an engaging passage, although stylistically out of keeping with much of what has come before.
An intriguing but uneven family memoir and travelogue.Pub Date: April 2, 2024
ISBN: 9781953368669
Page Count: 144
Publisher: Belt Publishing
Review Posted Online: Nov. 17, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2023
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