A moving account of caring and advocating for children with disabilities.
In this memoir, a mother compares her life as a dancer with parenting two children with disabilities.
When De Simone became a mother following the end of her dancing career, she experienced the unexpected. Her first son, Benjamin, presented with cerebral palsy, seizures, and a neuronal migration disorder that impeded his ability to walk and talk. Her second son, Sebastian, was diagnosed with a “pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified.” The author and her husband, John, navigated the harrowing reality of conflicting diagnoses, various special education placements, and incompetent school professionals. These difficulties were all part of the grief and anxiety that accompanied the daily ups and downs of raising children with low-incidence disabilities. Due to school and placement challenges, the family left their beloved Brooklyn for New Jersey, where they found the educational experiences and community they desired for their family. What’s most evident in the narrative is the love that De Simone and her husband have for their two boys. This memoir affectingly charts the couple’s road to acceptance, illustrating their own challenges as they both see and love their children for who they are. De Simone’s knowledge as both a mother and a special educator adds context to the educational experiences and the medical scenarios, and she authentically conveys the myriad emotions experienced by the parents of children with disabilities. (“Every time I changed Benjamin’s diaper, his intact foreskin reminded me that we didn’t want to change what nature had intended. We saved some skin.”) The narrative also encapsulates what it’s like to feel excluded from the community at large, calling out the societal structures in place that demean people with disabilities. Reflecting on various schools and playgrounds, De Simone observes, “We had every right to be there, but I didn’t feel like we belonged.” Although there are moments when the conceit of dance as a metaphor for parenthood takes away from the story, this memoir serves as an honest depiction of what it’s like to navigate the world as parents of children with significant disabilities.
A moving account of caring and advocating for children with disabilities.Pub Date: Sept. 17, 2024
ISBN: 9781647427146
Page Count: 264
Publisher: She Writes Press
Review Posted Online: May 23, 2024
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
A concise personal and scholarly history that avoids academic jargon as it illuminates emotional truths.
The Harvard historian and Texas native demonstrates what the holiday means to her and to the rest of the nation.
Initially celebrated primarily by Black Texans, Juneteenth refers to June 19, 1865, when a Union general arrived in Galveston to proclaim the end of slavery with the defeat of the Confederacy. If only history were that simple. In her latest, Gordon-Reed, winner of the Pulitzer Prize, National Book Award, Anisfield-Wolf Book Award, and numerous other honors, describes how Whites raged and committed violence against celebratory Blacks as racism in Texas and across the country continued to spread through segregation, Jim Crow laws, and separate-but-equal rationalizations. As Gordon-Reed amply shows in this smooth combination of memoir, essay, and history, such racism is by no means a thing of the past, even as Juneteenth has come to be celebrated by all of Texas and throughout the U.S. The Galveston announcement, notes the author, came well after the Emancipation Proclamation but before the ratification of the 13th Amendment. Though Gordon-Reed writes fondly of her native state, especially the strong familial ties and sense of community, she acknowledges her challenges as a woman of color in a state where “the image of Texas has a gender and a race: “Texas is a White man.” The author astutely explores “what that means for everyone who lives in Texas and is not a White man.” With all of its diversity and geographic expanse, Texas also has a singular history—as part of Mexico, as its own republic from 1836 to 1846, and as a place that “has connections to people of African descent that go back centuries.” All of this provides context for the uniqueness of this historical moment, which Gordon-Reed explores with her characteristic rigor and insight.
A concise personal and scholarly history that avoids academic jargon as it illuminates emotional truths.Pub Date: May 4, 2021
ISBN: 978-1-63149-883-1
Page Count: 128
Publisher: Liveright/Norton
Review Posted Online: Feb. 23, 2021
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2021
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
SEEN & HEARD
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