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FALL AND RECOVERY

RAISING CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES THROUGH LESSONS LEARNED IN DANCE

A moving account of caring and advocating for children with disabilities.

In this memoir, a mother compares her life as a dancer with parenting two children with disabilities.

When De Simone became a mother following the end of her dancing career, she experienced the unexpected. Her first son, Benjamin, presented with cerebral palsy, seizures, and a neuronal migration disorder that impeded his ability to walk and talk. Her second son, Sebastian, was diagnosed with a “pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified.” The author and her husband, John, navigated the harrowing reality of conflicting diagnoses, various special education placements, and incompetent school professionals. These difficulties were all part of the grief and anxiety that accompanied the daily ups and downs of raising children with low-incidence disabilities. Due to school and placement challenges, the family left their beloved Brooklyn for New Jersey, where they found the educational experiences and community they desired for their family. What’s most evident in the narrative is the love that De Simone and her husband have for their two boys. This memoir affectingly charts the couple’s road to acceptance, illustrating their own challenges as they both see and love their children for who they are. De Simone’s knowledge as both a mother and a special educator adds context to the educational experiences and the medical scenarios, and she authentically conveys the myriad emotions experienced by the parents of children with disabilities. (“Every time I changed Benjamin’s diaper, his intact foreskin reminded me that we didn’t want to change what nature had intended. We saved some skin.”) The narrative also encapsulates what it’s like to feel excluded from the community at large, calling out the societal structures in place that demean people with disabilities. Reflecting on various schools and playgrounds, De Simone observes, “We had every right to be there, but I didn’t feel like we belonged.” Although there are moments when the conceit of dance as a metaphor for parenthood takes away from the story, this memoir serves as an honest depiction of what it’s like to navigate the world as parents of children with significant disabilities.

A moving account of caring and advocating for children with disabilities.

Pub Date: Sept. 17, 2024

ISBN: 9781647427146

Page Count: 264

Publisher: She Writes Press

Review Posted Online: May 23, 2024

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THINK YOU'LL BE HAPPY

MOVING THROUGH GRIEF WITH GRIT, GRACE, AND GRATITUDE

Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.

Memories and life lessons inspired by the author’s mother, who was murdered in 2021.

“Neither my mother nor I knew that her last text to me would be the words ‘Think you’ll be happy,’ ” Avant writes, "but it is fitting that she left me with a mantra for resiliency.” The author, a filmmaker and former U.S. Ambassador to the Bahamas, begins her first book on the night she learned her mother, Jacqueline Avant, had been fatally shot during a home invasion. “One of my first thoughts,” she writes, “was, ‘Oh God, please don’t let me hate this man. Give me the strength not to hate him.’ ” Daughter of Clarence Avant, known as the “Black Godfather” due to his work as a pioneering music executive, the author describes growing up “in a house that had a revolving door of famous people,” from Ella Fitzgerald to Muhammad Ali. “I don’t take for granted anything I have achieved in my life as a Black American woman,” writes Avant. “And I recognize my unique upbringing…..I was taught to honor our past and pay forward our fruits.” The book, which is occasionally repetitive, includes tributes to her mother from figures like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton, but the narrative core is the author’s direct, faith-based, unwaveringly positive messages to readers—e.g., “I don’t want to carry the sadness and anger I have toward the man who did this to my mother…so I’m worshiping God amid the worst storm imaginable”; "Success and feeling good are contagious. I’m all about positive contagious vibrations!” Avant frequently quotes Bible verses, and the bulk of the text reflects the spirit of her daily prayer “that everything is in divine order.” Imploring readers to practice proactive behavior, she writes, “We have to always find the blessing, to be the blessing.”

Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.

Pub Date: Oct. 17, 2023

ISBN: 9780063304413

Page Count: 288

Publisher: HarperOne

Review Posted Online: Aug. 17, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2023

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I'M GLAD MY MOM DIED

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

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The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.

In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022

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