Candid, compassionate, engaging, and wise advice on dealing with depression.
A guide offers strategies for coping with a depressed relative or friend.
For over 20 years, Notte, a blogger, has dealt with her own depression. Her previous book, The Monster Under the Bed (2020), addressed how depression affects relationships. Writing it led to this work, which expands the focus to include “everyone who cares about anyone with depression.” The author’s effort, both noble and necessary, is written from the perspective of a person who struggles with depression. Notte also conducted extensive research under the supervision of a psychotherapist, and she enhances the volume with excerpted quotes from participants who have depression. Nonscientific and consumer-friendly, the content provides real insights into life with depression, the behaviors associated with it, and how best to assist someone with the condition. She begins by exposing some of the myths about depression and mental illness in general, suggesting that individuals with an ailment may conceal it “out of fear” because of society’s preconceived notions. Particularly revealing are some of the obstacles that may impede delivering aid to a person who is depressed. Notte’s explanation of “why you don’t need to understand and how you can still effectively support someone” is especially insightful and helpful. Much of her advice is simple yet powerful; for example, “People who are struggling want to know that they aren’t alone”; “Remember they are not causing the situation—depression is”; and “Be OK with people being not OK.” The author does an admirable job of weaving in her own often gut-wrenching experiences with those of the individuals she interviewed. Offering the voices of people of different ages, genders, races, and backgrounds helps clarify the key point that depression is universal and can affect anyone. The book’s final chapter, “The Cheat Sheet,” is likely to be extremely valuable; here, Notte presents specific tips on “what not to say—and what to say instead,” “things not to do (and things to do instead),” “active ways to support someone with depression,” and “things to remember when you don’t understand.” This useful chapter even includes specific ideas for texts and voice messages to send to a depressed person.
Candid, compassionate, engaging, and wise advice on dealing with depression.Pub Date: March 3, 2023
ISBN: 9781990869082
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Thornapple Press
Review Posted Online: Jan. 19, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2023
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.
Memories and life lessons inspired by the author’s mother, who was murdered in 2021.
“Neither my mother nor I knew that her last text to me would be the words ‘Think you’ll be happy,’ ” Avant writes, "but it is fitting that she left me with a mantra for resiliency.” The author, a filmmaker and former U.S. Ambassador to the Bahamas, begins her first book on the night she learned her mother, Jacqueline Avant, had been fatally shot during a home invasion. “One of my first thoughts,” she writes, “was, ‘Oh God, please don’t let me hate this man. Give me the strength not to hate him.’ ” Daughter of Clarence Avant, known as the “Black Godfather” due to his work as a pioneering music executive, the author describes growing up “in a house that had a revolving door of famous people,” from Ella Fitzgerald to Muhammad Ali. “I don’t take for granted anything I have achieved in my life as a Black American woman,” writes Avant. “And I recognize my unique upbringing…..I was taught to honor our past and pay forward our fruits.” The book, which is occasionally repetitive, includes tributes to her mother from figures like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton, but the narrative core is the author’s direct, faith-based, unwaveringly positive messages to readers—e.g., “I don’t want to carry the sadness and anger I have toward the man who did this to my mother…so I’m worshiping God amid the worst storm imaginable”; "Success and feeling good are contagious. I’m all about positive contagious vibrations!” Avant frequently quotes Bible verses, and the bulk of the text reflects the spirit of her daily prayer “that everything is in divine order.” Imploring readers to practice proactive behavior, she writes, “We have to always find the blessing, to be the blessing.”
Some of Avant’s mantras are overstated, but her book is magnanimous, inspiring, and relentlessly optimistic.Pub Date: Oct. 17, 2023
ISBN: 9780063304413
Page Count: 288
Publisher: HarperOne
Review Posted Online: Aug. 17, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2023
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.
The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.
In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.
The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4
Page Count: 320
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
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