A meandering but intriguing blueprint for changing social relationships.
A new paradigm for personal and social reinvention.
“Many of us have felt boxed in at one point or another,” Torfs and Ampe write in what will strike most readers as an effective note of empathy, “by crippling debt, or a toxic boss, or a bank that didn’t endorse our business plan.” These frustrations have only been heightened by technology and social media. To combat (and subvert) these habits, their guide examines the ways people typically form personal and social relationships and illustrates advice for these scenarios via a series of hypothetical characters, like 19-year-old college student Jake, who faces the typical dilemmas of impending graduation. In his case, one facet of the solution is to cultivate a greater degree of acceptance from his family in order to lessen his anxiety. The family is to “set aside their frameworks of expectations of what he should be, and instead, consider how to support who he is.” The authors explore concepts such as the eight “domains” that contribute to one’s quality of life, including emotional and physical well-being, leisure interactions, self-determination and basic rights, learning and personal growth, and so on. In identifying “tensions” in these domains, readers can take action to bring their well-being into balance and rise above the “ethos of blame.” The guide’s sentiments unfold in the bland, often cliched language of most self-help or motivation books: “Your core values will determine how you make choices,” etc. This tendency sometimes makes the book’s 500 pages feel slow and bloated, but patient readers will find the core concept here—the idea of a “heterotopia,” i.e., a radical re-envisioning of human social structures, to be fascinating and well fleshed out. The book is overlong, but the tenets of creating “an optional, effective, secure financial environment,” where people are autonomous agents but also communally responsible, are deftly explored and thought provoking.
A meandering but intriguing blueprint for changing social relationships.Pub Date: March 31, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-5445-2916-5
Page Count: 492
Publisher: Quality of Life World Publishing
Review Posted Online: May 26, 2022
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.
The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.
Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023
ISBN: 9781627783316
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Viva Editions
Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.
Want to get ahead in business? Consult a dictionary.
By Wharton School professor Berger’s account, much of the art of persuasion lies in the art of choosing the right word. Want to jump ahead of others waiting in line to use a photocopy machine, even if they’re grizzled New Yorkers? Throw a because into the equation (“Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I’m in a rush?”), and you’re likely to get your way. Want someone to do your copying for you? Then change your verbs to nouns: not “Can you help me?” but “Can you be a helper?” As Berger notes, there’s a subtle psychological shift at play when a person becomes not a mere instrument in helping but instead acquires an identity as a helper. It’s the little things, one supposes, and the author offers some interesting strategies that eager readers will want to try out. Instead of alienating a listener with the omniscient should, as in “You should do this,” try could instead: “Well, you could…” induces all concerned “to recognize that there might be other possibilities.” Berger’s counsel that one should use abstractions contradicts his admonition to use concrete language, and it doesn’t help matters to say that each is appropriate to a particular situation, while grammarians will wince at his suggestion that a nerve-calming exercise to “try talking to yourself in the third person (‘You can do it!’)” in fact invokes the second person. Still, there are plenty of useful insights, particularly for students of advertising and public speaking. It’s intriguing to note that appeals to God are less effective in securing a loan than a simple affirmative such as “I pay all bills…on time”), and it’s helpful to keep in mind that “the right words used at the right time can have immense power.”
Perhaps not magic but appealing nonetheless.Pub Date: March 7, 2023
ISBN: 9780063204935
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Harper Business
Review Posted Online: March 23, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 2023
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