A solid compendium of love, lessons, and constructive homework.
An exploration of the complex psychology of relationships.
Kim and Bennett have more in common than just being therapists and self-admitted “flawed and complicated humans.” They are also a committed, unmarried couple. With a smooth balance of advice and affable humor, the authors present the keys to a proactive, durable relationship, reiterating the lessons they’ve learned from their own time together. While the authors accept that people crave finding “the one,” the procession of simmering romance, marriage, family, and career growth can be a challenge. Kim and Bennett dig into a variety of barriers that hinder the development and maintenance of successful relationships—e.g., intimacy ambivalence and the pressures of familial upbringing (Kim’s parents, who “are old school Korean, taught him to “push feelings down)”—and the ways couples can break down these barricades both separately and together. In addition to candid stories about their own ongoing learning curve, the authors relate client experiences that reflect common challenges for anyone in a committed relationship. Their advice ranges from obvious (“passion and intensity aren’t enough to build and sustain a relationship”) to more nuanced, like how to navigate the emotional contours of mutual intimacy and suppressed “anger, resentment, or eggshells.” Alternating narration, the authors provide unique opinions and philosophies on a variety of relationship topics, including attachment styles, effective communication strategies, the ever present pitfalls of codependency, jealousy, and unhealthy behavioral patterns. The authors end each chapter with “Questions To Ask Yourself” and a section called “The Practice,” which challenges readers to apply what they have learned. Consistently encouraging, the authors are convincing in their assertion that a healthy, productive, mutually gratifying love connection is achievable with the proper tools and a willingness to look inward and put in the work. “You can only be responsible for yourself and how you show up,” they write. “How your partner shows up and the amount of effort they put in is entirely on them.”
A solid compendium of love, lessons, and constructive homework.Pub Date: Sept. 6, 2022
ISBN: 978-0-06-320631-1
Page Count: 288
Publisher: HarperOne
Review Posted Online: July 26, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2022
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...
A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.
The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1
Page Count: 512
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011
BOOK REVIEW
IN THE NEWS
These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.
A helpful guide to working effectively with people from other cultures.
“The sad truth is that the vast majority of managers who conduct business internationally have little understanding about how culture is impacting their work,” writes Meyer, a professor at INSEAD, an international business school. Yet they face a wider array of work styles than ever before in dealing with clients, suppliers and colleagues from around the world. When is it best to speak or stay quiet? What is the role of the leader in the room? When working with foreign business people, failing to take cultural differences into account can lead to frustration, misunderstanding or worse. Based on research and her experiences teaching cross-cultural behaviors to executive students, the author examines a handful of key areas. Among others, they include communicating (Anglo-Saxons are explicit; Asians communicate implicitly, requiring listeners to read between the lines), developing a sense of trust (Brazilians do it over long lunches), and decision-making (Germans rely on consensus, Americans on one decider). In each area, the author provides a “culture map scale” that positions behaviors in more than 20 countries along a continuum, allowing readers to anticipate the preferences of individuals from a particular country: Do they like direct or indirect negative feedback? Are they rigid or flexible regarding deadlines? Do they favor verbal or written commitments? And so on. Meyer discusses managers who have faced perplexing situations, such as knowledgeable team members who fail to speak up in meetings or Indians who offer a puzzling half-shake, half-nod of the head. Cultural differences—not personality quirks—are the motivating factors behind many behavioral styles. Depending on our cultures, we understand the world in a particular way, find certain arguments persuasive or lacking merit, and consider some ways of making decisions or measuring time natural and others quite strange.
These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.Pub Date: May 27, 2014
ISBN: 978-1-61039-250-1
Page Count: 288
Publisher: PublicAffairs
Review Posted Online: April 15, 2014
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2014
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