A solid compendium of love, lessons, and constructive homework.
An exploration of the complex psychology of relationships.
Kim and Bennett have more in common than just being therapists and self-admitted “flawed and complicated humans.” They are also a committed, unmarried couple. With a smooth balance of advice and affable humor, the authors present the keys to a proactive, durable relationship, reiterating the lessons they’ve learned from their own time together. While the authors accept that people crave finding “the one,” the procession of simmering romance, marriage, family, and career growth can be a challenge. Kim and Bennett dig into a variety of barriers that hinder the development and maintenance of successful relationships—e.g., intimacy ambivalence and the pressures of familial upbringing (Kim’s parents, who “are old school Korean, taught him to “push feelings down)”—and the ways couples can break down these barricades both separately and together. In addition to candid stories about their own ongoing learning curve, the authors relate client experiences that reflect common challenges for anyone in a committed relationship. Their advice ranges from obvious (“passion and intensity aren’t enough to build and sustain a relationship”) to more nuanced, like how to navigate the emotional contours of mutual intimacy and suppressed “anger, resentment, or eggshells.” Alternating narration, the authors provide unique opinions and philosophies on a variety of relationship topics, including attachment styles, effective communication strategies, the ever present pitfalls of codependency, jealousy, and unhealthy behavioral patterns. The authors end each chapter with “Questions To Ask Yourself” and a section called “The Practice,” which challenges readers to apply what they have learned. Consistently encouraging, the authors are convincing in their assertion that a healthy, productive, mutually gratifying love connection is achievable with the proper tools and a willingness to look inward and put in the work. “You can only be responsible for yourself and how you show up,” they write. “How your partner shows up and the amount of effort they put in is entirely on them.”
A solid compendium of love, lessons, and constructive homework.Pub Date: Sept. 6, 2022
ISBN: 978-0-06-320631-1
Page Count: 288
Publisher: HarperOne
Review Posted Online: July 26, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2022
A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.
All right, all right, all right: The affable, laconic actor delivers a combination of memoir and self-help book.
“This is an approach book,” writes McConaughey, adding that it contains “philosophies that can be objectively understood, and if you choose, subjectively adopted, by either changing your reality, or changing how you see it. This is a playbook, based on adventures in my life.” Some of those philosophies come in the form of apothegms: “When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze”; “Simplify, focus, conserve to liberate.” Others come in the form of sometimes rambling stories that never take the shortest route from point A to point B, as when he recounts a dream-spurred, challenging visit to the Malian musician Ali Farka Touré, who offered a significant lesson in how disagreement can be expressed politely and without rancor. Fans of McConaughey will enjoy his memories—which line up squarely with other accounts in Melissa Maerz’s recent oral history, Alright, Alright, Alright—of his debut in Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, to which he contributed not just that signature phrase, but also a kind of too-cool-for-school hipness that dissolves a bit upon realizing that he’s an older guy on the prowl for teenage girls. McConaughey’s prep to settle into the role of Wooderson involved inhabiting the mind of a dude who digs cars, rock ’n’ roll, and “chicks,” and he ran with it, reminding readers that the film originally had only three scripted scenes for his character. The lesson: “Do one thing well, then another. Once, then once more.” It’s clear that the author is a thoughtful man, even an intellectual of sorts, though without the earnestness of Ethan Hawke or James Franco. Though some of the sentiments are greeting card–ish, this book is entertaining and full of good lessons.
A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.Pub Date: Oct. 20, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-593-13913-4
Page Count: 304
Publisher: Crown
Review Posted Online: Oct. 27, 2020
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2020
BOOK REVIEW
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...
A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.
The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1
Page Count: 512
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011
BOOK REVIEW
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