KILLING HARRY BONES

Fired from an ad agency—and with murder on his mind—a man gets pulled into an arms dealer’s scheme to save Africa’s wildlife in a tale of quid pro quo.

In this debut novel, Chicago ad executive Harry Bones purges much of his agency’s staff, including art director and South African emigrant Roger Storm, whom he has long loathed, particularly for his unhip wardrobe. After the dismissal, Harry asks 56-year-old Roger what his plans are and is told, “I’m going to think of a way to kill you, Harry.” But first Roger goes to Paris. Sad and drinking too much, he laments his depressing childhood and current situation. After talking to his hotel’s concierge about a malfunctioning television remote (“Have you been watching pornography, Monsieur Storm? We’ve found that semen is the worst thing for remote controllers. It clogs the buttons”), Roger heads to a restaurant, where he is shocked to see his childhood friend Freddy Blank, who supposedly died years earlier. Freddy’s faked suicide helped him in his career as an arms dealer, working with his lover Jamie Bowes and “sexy assassin” Conchita Palomino, daughter of a Mossad agent and a Colombian revolutionary. The trio’s company, PaloMar Industries, made a fortune selling weapons, and some of the money now finances saving Africa’s endangered wildlife “from land encroachment, poachers, and trophy hunters” by whatever means necessary. Harries, a retired leader at a global ad company, shows an obvious passion and knowledge of Africa in this well-written series opener. Unfortunately, the methods used to kill big game hunters are disturbing; case in point, death by sexual violation by hippo. The book has humor, but it also has a deeply cruel streak and an unsympathetic cast. Character comments display a disdain for minorities, the overweight, and women—unless they are attractive. In what can be considered either clever or pretentious, lengthy chapter titles begin with “In Which,” similar to those in the classic Don Quixote.

Fine writing but not a single likable character in this bizarre conservation story.