THE SQUAMPKIN PATCH

What happens when you cross a Lemony Snicket title and The Rocky Horror Picture Show? You get this novel about deadly squash-pumpkin hybrids, two unpronounceably surnamed not-quite-orphans’ deadly encounters with them and a villain who makes Count Olaf seem benevolent. Goofy action, adventure and comedy ensue after siblings Milton and Chloe Nasselrogt (Nasal Rod to you and me) escape the orphanage to which they’re delivered after losing their parents in a department store. Getting out of there is easy compared to what’s to follow as they find themselves embroiled in numerous unfortunate events involving a mysteriously vanished child-hating confectioner, his most-despised target, twin nemeses and the aforementioned killer crops. Sharp-eyed readers will note how the illustrations on double-page spreads progress throughout from sprout to monstrous vegetables. Overlong, but loopy fun. Includes a recipe for pumpkin-chocolate-chip cookies. (Fiction. 9-12)