With warmth and understanding, Anderson offers a new approach to healing for those who wish to break the cycle of abuse.
Anderson conducts a highly personal exploration of generational trauma and healing, particularly between mothers and daughters.
The author looks into the frequent feelings of shame from which children of abusive parents often suffer. As Psychology Today blogger Eric Maisel writes in his forward, “Shame is one of the primary results of tyrannical parents harming their children. The shamed child of one generation becomes the shaming parent of the next generation." After identifying the problem and assuring readers that they can end the traumatic cycle, Anderson presents her poetry. Almost stream-of-consciousness in style, each poetry section is divided by age (0-5, 5-10, 10-15, 15-20, and 21+) and offers glimpses into Anderson’s own horrific instances of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Her frequent reference to “disappearing” describes a disassociation that permeates her adolescence and adulthood. The turning point comes when she meets her husband and finally begins learning that she deserves unconditional love (a process that the author admits is still ongoing). Anderson discusses the various sources and symptoms of trauma, using her own experiences as well as outside research to support her opinions. She provides plenty of practical exercises for readers to try on their own, such as thinking of a time when they felt “alive and energized, in the zone, or authentically you in all your you-ness.” These exercises are used to achieve what Anderson calls “unshaming,” a process of becoming your “favorite” (not necessarily your “best” or “most productive”) self. The book wraps up with a concluding section of poems entitled “Connection Recovery” to demonstrate the healing that is possible even after a lifetime of abuse.
The author’s compassionate approach to such a sensitive topic helps guide readers through what is an emotionally wrenching book. Her depictions of abuse, while not overly graphic, are still painful to read—which makes them all the more necessary to air out in the open (she also specifically provides a trigger warning before she tells a personal story of animal torture that she witnessed as a child). With a unique blend of past memories and present struggles, conveyed in a mix of poetry and prose, this text, the author freely acknowledges, is not a clinical or scholarly look at the topic of female generational trauma. Instead, this book is for those who wish to be guided by someone who has experienced what they have experienced—someone to walk them through what has worked for her. A large part of what works for Anderson is recognizing the difficulties and ordeals that her own mother and grandmother went through. The traumas they experienced perpetuated the feelings of shame that they then handed down to the author—the exact same process that has occurred with so many women over countless generations: “The shame was so pervasive we couldn’t see it…it’s the water we have been swimming in for…ever. And it wasn’t ours.” Anderson’s honesty and dedication to plumbing the depths of her own life provide advice and guidance for anyone who finds themselves in similar circumstances. While the subject matter itself may be heavy, the author’s empathy and kindness (both to her readers and herself) make this an important companion for those looking to escape from generational trauma.
With warmth and understanding, Anderson offers a new approach to healing for those who wish to break the cycle of abuse.Pub Date: June 13, 2023
ISBN: 978-1684812660
Page Count: 196
Publisher: Mango
Review Posted Online: Sept. 5, 2023
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our...
A psychologist and Nobel Prize winner summarizes and synthesizes the recent decades of research on intuition and systematic thinking.
The author of several scholarly texts, Kahneman (Emeritus Psychology and Public Affairs/Princeton Univ.) now offers general readers not just the findings of psychological research but also a better understanding of how research questions arise and how scholars systematically frame and answer them. He begins with the distinction between System 1 and System 2 mental operations, the former referring to quick, automatic thought, the latter to more effortful, overt thinking. We rely heavily, writes, on System 1, resorting to the higher-energy System 2 only when we need or want to. Kahneman continually refers to System 2 as “lazy”: We don’t want to think rigorously about something. The author then explores the nuances of our two-system minds, showing how they perform in various situations. Psychological experiments have repeatedly revealed that our intuitions are generally wrong, that our assessments are based on biases and that our System 1 hates doubt and despises ambiguity. Kahneman largely avoids jargon; when he does use some (“heuristics,” for example), he argues that such terms really ought to join our everyday vocabulary. He reviews many fundamental concepts in psychology and statistics (regression to the mean, the narrative fallacy, the optimistic bias), showing how they relate to his overall concerns about how we think and why we make the decisions that we do. Some of the later chapters (dealing with risk-taking and statistics and probabilities) are denser than others (some readers may resent such demands on System 2!), but the passages that deal with the economic and political implications of the research are gripping.
Striking research showing the immense complexity of ordinary thought and revealing the identities of the gatekeepers in our minds.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2011
ISBN: 978-0-374-27563-1
Page Count: 512
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 3, 2011
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 15, 2011
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These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.
A helpful guide to working effectively with people from other cultures.
“The sad truth is that the vast majority of managers who conduct business internationally have little understanding about how culture is impacting their work,” writes Meyer, a professor at INSEAD, an international business school. Yet they face a wider array of work styles than ever before in dealing with clients, suppliers and colleagues from around the world. When is it best to speak or stay quiet? What is the role of the leader in the room? When working with foreign business people, failing to take cultural differences into account can lead to frustration, misunderstanding or worse. Based on research and her experiences teaching cross-cultural behaviors to executive students, the author examines a handful of key areas. Among others, they include communicating (Anglo-Saxons are explicit; Asians communicate implicitly, requiring listeners to read between the lines), developing a sense of trust (Brazilians do it over long lunches), and decision-making (Germans rely on consensus, Americans on one decider). In each area, the author provides a “culture map scale” that positions behaviors in more than 20 countries along a continuum, allowing readers to anticipate the preferences of individuals from a particular country: Do they like direct or indirect negative feedback? Are they rigid or flexible regarding deadlines? Do they favor verbal or written commitments? And so on. Meyer discusses managers who have faced perplexing situations, such as knowledgeable team members who fail to speak up in meetings or Indians who offer a puzzling half-shake, half-nod of the head. Cultural differences—not personality quirks—are the motivating factors behind many behavioral styles. Depending on our cultures, we understand the world in a particular way, find certain arguments persuasive or lacking merit, and consider some ways of making decisions or measuring time natural and others quite strange.
These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.Pub Date: May 27, 2014
ISBN: 978-1-61039-250-1
Page Count: 288
Publisher: PublicAffairs
Review Posted Online: April 15, 2014
Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2014
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